I've been at work for a whole hour today.

And I haven't looked at my e-mail today. I've gotten quite a few things done: a)I have spent nine hundred fifty-three dollars and thirty-two cents; b) I met with a career counselor at the Workforce Center; c) I applied turtle wax to my auto and mowed the lawn.

Some notes on my accomplishments: a) I really spent this money a long time ago; b) every employee at the Workforce Center looks like they have been molded from wax and then left out in the sun too long, some are of indeterminate gender, others have clearly been screwed by life but don't seem to realize it; c) this is an obvious and pointless lie.

But I really haven't checked my e-mail. I mean the real e-mail, not the work one. So if you've sent me something, it will just have to wait. Even though you haven't. But if you had, I wouldn't know, and I wouldn't care about what I didn't know.

I can't wait to Identify My Skills at an upcoming workshop. Last time I took these tests, they said I would make an excellent Wharfmaster! Or wharfmistress? Or wharfiatrix? The future is so bright.