I would suggest, and I'm not being judgmental, that you sober up before calling. Barring that, take notes. This will save you from repeating yourself; then the customer service person won't get that note of aggravation in her voice, you won't be reminded of your ex-wife or parole officer or something and you won't freak out.
If you receive a letter or bill in the mail and you don't see information you would like to know on the first page, a little known secret of the trade may come in handy for you. Sometimes there's stuff on the back of that page! I know, it's a little sneaky; and you may be a busy lady who needs to call in and shriek to several places of business today. It's not fair to you, but that's the way it goes sometimes.
Yes, that is the way it goes sometimes. It's unfortunate, but the limits of human endeavor, not to mention the constraints of physical laws on earth as we know them at this time in history, make it possible that there are things you want that you may not be able to instantly receive. We are sorry, sorry to hear children in the background of your call, for it is likely that you have procreated, and prolifically, if the noise level and pitch of the hungry, irritated sobbings are any indication.
We are mere cogs in a vast corporational system that seeks to stymie you at every turn. However, we are a small call center, so if you call back in with a fantastical lie -- oh, I mean a misunderstanding, a misinterpretation, entirely the fault of the CSR -- my neighbor likely took the call and regaled us all with your insane request.
We realize you have a choice, and are so fucking glad you chose us. If you have any questions, please feel free to contact us. Could you make it before 10 a.m. or after 7 p.m.? Because if I have to talk to you for one more minute, I will have to exact some sort of revenge, maybe on you or maybe on the fucked up society that spawned you. That would be great. Thanks ever so much for your patronage.
HAHAHA... so what are the tips?
ReplyDeleteunless my point is... taxpayers shouldn't waste their precious dollars on the unteachable? no, that ain't it. so what should I say instead? I don't need to come off as an elitist, especially as a college dropout.
ReplyDeleteI can't believe I missed the opportunity to reply to Doordolt thusly:
ReplyDeleteSo's yer face!
Anyways, I'm just going to cut that part.
When I am a "difficult" customer seeking service, I get paranoid about whether or not the person on the other end is using the mute button to swear at me. Know I know for sure they (you, S.D.?) are. Conspiracy theory proven. Thanks.
ReplyDeletehaving a difficult situation or problem won't get you sworn at... being a prick about it will. i think people forget that not every customer service center is a huge call center full of workers who don't care and have no power. sometimes the people you talk to actually know what they are talking about, had nothing to do with the problem you are having, only need you to answer their questions and wait while they fix it and don't appreciate your rudeness. whether a company has slighted you or not each customer service rep deserves a chance to attempt resolution and shouldn't be given the bitch treatment until they deserve it. it's a case by case situation.
ReplyDeleteYou guys would totally get along. I should have some sort of mixer.
ReplyDelete'until they deserve it' -- then let 'em have it. Do it for me, I can't do it! I'm usually a wimp when I get crap service, I just don't go back there.
ReplyDeletewow! ten comments! that is a lot for us as of late!
ReplyDelete