Here you go.

I'm trying to make this amusingly lousy instead of just lousy, but whatever. Here is part of the thing I am writing. I am way behind on word count, so I'm throwing in everything I can, craft and elegance be damned. I think perhaps this would invite the scorn of some writers who are real writers, but it is just a thing to do.

Here's an excerpt if you don't wish to click, for which I do not blame you.

Her cat (a brown, black, tan and white colored cat whose front claws had been removed two years ago) was sitting and grooming herself on an ottoman that matched her brown floral side chair, but at the sound of the loud gasp the cat, whose name was Snitty that week, because Liz knew the cat didn't care what her name was so she changed it every week, jumped and hissed and ran to hide under Liz's bed in her bedroom.