I've been at this job for ninety days. So my review is coming up any day now, and I have to come up with some shit. I could use some suggestions. I think I've got the weaknesses covered, but hey, if anything comes to mind, share away.
Strengths: purchased candy and put it out at her desk, so being a good sharer is a strength, right? other than that....... Doesn't steal. Doesn't drink at work. Has magic powers.
Weaknesses: shifty eyed. pensive. listens to NPR at her desk. scared of the copier.
Biggest accomplishment: made copies without crying. runner up: When that guy came in and asked about job openings but kept interrupting the conversation to mutter to himself about birds, encouraged him to apply and offered him an application, which he declined for many reasons, reasons that he whispered to the staircase as he left.
Lame lame lame. Not the crazy guy, he was awesome.
You're funny. You should get a raise just because of the candy!!!
ReplyDeleteSeriously though. A good weakness for an interview (or review), if you want to call it that, is perfectionism. I think that's probably the best weakness a person could have.
Afraid of the copier, eh?!!! I'm not alone. I'm afraid it will break when I use it. Also the fax machine, the other printer/copier, oh and the computer.
during your interview, get defensive... anything they identify as a shortcoming should be pushed back on them... cause, after all, they hired you... give extrememly candid answers.... name names... tell your boss what they can do to make your job easier... ask that someone else take one of your responsibilities away... and tell them you want a faster computer because the one you have now isn't useful for fantasy football
ReplyDeleteexcellent ideas you guys.
ReplyDeleteI used the Dilbert Performance Review generator to create the following for you:FROM THE DESK OF THE EVIL HUMAN
ReplyDeleteRESOURCES DIRECTOR:
Performance Appraisal for Ms. SomethingDirty:
She sets a compelling example for the younger employees. Her name is frequently mentioned in executive meetings. Not surprisingly, a reevaluation of her salary is long overdue. She makes decisions with minimal direction. As an employee, Ms. SomethingDirty is a management textbook example. Her work sets Ms. SomethingDirty apart from her peers. Moreover, her worth to the company can only be imagined.
* In Strict Confidence *
A compelling example indeed!
ReplyDeletethis cracked me up! just be yourself. i'm sure they will keep you on the job for at least 90 more days :)
ReplyDelete