I'm a joiner.

There's a hot new cult in town, and I want to join. Seriously, I just want to be a part of something. To feel comforted and secure. To be relieved of decision making responsibilities/abilities. But I want the cult to be straightforward with me as well. It's like, hello? Just tell me you want me to cut off all ties with my family, OK? No big deal, looking forward to it. But don't try to trick me into it. Total deal breaker.

The This is a Cult blog is intriguing. Could be what I've been seeking all these years.

"I look at all the cash Hubbard’s boys rake in. I was reading that getting the whole alien spirits possessing your body secret costs like $200 grand. And they want years to get you to that point. I will reveal our most serious religious revelations for $100,000, and I’ll tell you as soon as the check clears. "

I like your style, buddy. Mostly. I think I'd get bored in a cult, though. How do you sustain that sort of passion? Sure brainwashing helps, but there's got to be something more.