I'm a joiner.

There's a hot new cult in town, and I want to join. Seriously, I just want to be a part of something. To feel comforted and secure. To be relieved of decision making responsibilities/abilities. But I want the cult to be straightforward with me as well. It's like, hello? Just tell me you want me to cut off all ties with my family, OK? No big deal, looking forward to it. But don't try to trick me into it. Total deal breaker.

The This is a Cult blog is intriguing. Could be what I've been seeking all these years.

"I look at all the cash Hubbard’s boys rake in. I was reading that getting the whole alien spirits possessing your body secret costs like $200 grand. And they want years to get you to that point. I will reveal our most serious religious revelations for $100,000, and I’ll tell you as soon as the check clears. "

I like your style, buddy. Mostly. I think I'd get bored in a cult, though. How do you sustain that sort of passion? Sure brainwashing helps, but there's got to be something more.

Secrets & Lies

I've heard of this site, but never went there. Postsecret.

Postcards of secrets. I don't know why, but I think some of them are fake.

Some are too well designed. I picture various arty types waiting anxiously to see their card make the site.

Which book are you?

New quiz. http://bluepyramid.org/ia/bquiz.htm
This is which book I am:

You're Ulysses! by James Joyce Most people are convinced that you don't make any sense, but compared to what else you could say, what you're saying now makes tons of sense. What people do understand about you is your vulgarity, which has convinced people that you are at once brilliant and repugnant. Meanwhile you are content to wander around aimlessly, taking in the sights and sounds of the city. What you see is vast, almost limitless, and brings you additional fame. When no one is looking, you dream of being a Greek folk hero.

Good times

Doonesbury.
It's good stuff. It's about blogs today.

The Weekend

On Saturday, I was taking my nieces to the park. They were each riding one of my old bikes: Co on the pink & gray striped ten speed w/the skinny tires, Mo on the later-era 'mountain bike', this one pink and purple. Both very cool, awesome bikes. Mo wanted me to ride 'her' bike, so I did. I went down the road a little ways, and started to turn in the little t intersection by the railroad crossing, when the girls started yelling, "Where are you going?! Come back! We can't go near the railroad tracks without a grown up!"

I advised them that I am, in fact, a grown up.
Co (9 years old): "How old ARE you?"
Me: 27.
Mo (almost 8): "Do you have kids?"
Me: Yes. I have several children, but didn't want them falling under your influence, Mo, so you've never seen them.
That was pretty much it. We went to the park and had a fine time.

Everything is louder today. Is that possible?

Has anyone tried Green Goodness juice by Bolthouse Farms? Tastes like a Fruit Rollup, with apple, kiwi and banana (this ssss is bananas: B-A-N-A-N-A-S) being the dominant fruit flavors. Then you read the rest of the ingredients as you contemplate the very greenness of its goodness: chlorella, wheat grass, odorless garlic, spirulina, other stuff. Delicious. Delightful. Delovely. So now I'm superhealthy. Somebody recommended wheat grass as an excellent hangover cure, if you really must know, and Green Goodness was her recommendation as a half-assed but tastier substitute.

Good link:
Knock-knock.
Who's there?
Under the Patriot Act, we don't have to tell you that.

Food for Thought...Delicious.

From today's Merriam Webster word of the day email:

The Word of the Day for August 18 is:
meme \MEEM\ noun
: an idea, behavior, style, or usage that spreads from person to person within a culture

Has anyone else noticed this word around a lot in the past couple of weeks?
Here's my point: Doesn't almost every 'idea, behavior, style, or usage' spread from person to person? Sometimes two people spontaneously come up with the same idea with no reference to each other, sure. Other than it's fun to say meeeeeem! -- what interests me is the twin factors of something both evolving, and being contagious in a sense. But it's not just trendiness. Or is it? Is it just a smartypants way saying something is trendy? I'm pretty sure this is kinda pointless, but what the hell, it's my day off. I vacuumed the living room, that's my big contribution to society for today.

another good thing

Continuing the 'writers I like pretty well' series, and keeping the advice column theme, here's a selection from Dear Prudence, published on Slate.com.
My comment on the letter you're about to read: It's one thing if it's someone you know who's concerned about you. It's when it's people you don't know, or if you're working, say as a cashier, so you can't tell them to fuck off.

Dear Prudence,
How do you respond to someone (a total stranger) who, out of nowhere, tells you to smile—or remarks on the lack of a smile on your face? (........) When it's happened to me, I know I've felt offended. I don't want to be rude, but they're out of line, aren't they? I just would like to know how a person is supposed to respond to these people.
—Smiling When I Feel Like It
Dear Smile,These commentators are strangers? What's up with that? Prudie thinks a proper response would be nonverbal communication. Something along the lines of knitting your eyebrows together, narrowing your eyes, and making the slightest sneer, all while cocking your head to a 45 degree angle.
—Prudie, huffily

See? She's brief. Classy, yet blunt. And it's a good answer.

I think I'll continue the series with Savage Love, if I can find something that works for the space.

Another day, another Blogthing.

This handy little instrument had me pegged as both juicy and mysterious. True that. What's your acronym? Isn't it an acrostic?

And this blog, Dispensing Happiness, is a lot of fun -- click if you'd like to see an example of the recipe cards tinaofmn gave to me today. Now that I have two sets, I'm quite the homemaker. The Happy Sorceress has some good recipes. She is a vegetarian, but the recipes look pretty adjustable. Not that I cook, jeepers! To quote another blog, 'I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and think, "Well, that's not going to happen." '

Falling on my face is still a move forward. I wish I could believe that! A quote from Keisha. Most of the blogs I come across by 'flipping' through blogspot, if they have any content, seem to fall into a couple-few categories: hobbyists, like the Sorceress above, Ranters/ Newsies/ Ruminators (see the range from Mental Fiber to Instapundit), and the personal. The personal subcategories seem to be mainly: Look how great my life is/lifestyle porn/chronicles of cute, precocious, kids and fabulous vacations (they do seem like really nice people, I'm not hating), or "I'm a miserable wreck! Come feast on my misery and terrible poetry."

Also enjoyable:
Slanderous Minneapolis (I don't know, I haven't read it a lot lately, but they did have a good- probably made up - story about that slutty chick from the hot tub commercials doing coke in a bar bathroom, hence the word 'slanderous' in the title. Yes, I know it's more like libel.), also see the post from Aug 9th for help with your next weekend's plans;
Sadvertising- name explains it all (marketing/ad types are kinda weird, also he/she links to Lileks, cool in my book);
British chick who became a stripper only because the mean ol' government wouldn't give her a journalist visa. Sure. Yeah, she's an illegal British journo stripper, crusading for all her new green card & visa-lacking friends, except she got fired from the club when she was profiled in the New York Times. Yep, that profile is where I heard of her. She talks on the blog about writing a book, but I think it would make a good sitcom. Maybe an hour long tragicomedy, Showtime, she gets into a greencard marriage of convenience with some... guy. I don't know. Run with it, people.

Jerry's gone. I kinda got used to him. Maybe I'm ready for a long term commitment, like a houseplant or something, maybe even a real one.

Turtle Daytwo: The deadening

nah, he's still doing fine. He flaps his creepy little flapper hands when he wants food, makes faces, swims around a bit, basks in the 'sun' of my bedside lamp, which I moved into the kitchen for Jerry's warmth and convenience. I swear he was looking at his reflection in the shiny metal underside of the toaster earlier. I will miss him, but I can't wait to see his fun new house!

Turtlewatch: Day 1

He's still alive. Good. He's a nice turtle, plus, can you imagine driving from Pet Smart to Pet City or whatever, with a dead turtle in a baggie, saying "Can you match this?" to the clerks? It would be worse with a kitten, I think. Or Grandma.
Also, it's Doordolt's birthday. Happy birthday!
Went out to the bar last night, a few people came over to my place for a nightcap afterwards. And I almost had enough chairs to go around!

T.V. came to visit and left all too early. She said she had fun, liked all the people she met. Except maybe for the Pier Security-shirt guy.

I added a counter on the bottom of this page. I told whackly, who replied, "Tuh, you're just going to give everybody a bunch of spyware and popups. Gawd." I have noticed a couple of popups, and it does use cookies. Let me know if it's too annoying and I'll take it down, if I happen to value your opinion.

In other news, today sucks.

There is no scientific reason why today shouldn't suck.

Does anybody remember savetoby.com? Just kill the bunny already. At this point the thing is probably already dead of old age. They didn't even update the page all the way.

They supposedly got this injured bunny and were holding it ransom for paypal donations of $50,000 by sometime this summer. I was cleaning out the "sent" folder in Outlook and found the site again. Check it out, it was mildly funny before.

I didn't actually delete most of the sent folder. More wasted time! Delicious.

Words of the Day

I shall try to be more prospicient and malapert in the future. I think I've got the castigate thing down.

prospicient (pros-PISH-uhnt) adjective Having foresight.[From Latin prospiciens, from prospicere (to look forward), from pro-(forward) + spicere, from specere (to look). Ultimately from Indo-Europeanroot spek- (to observe) which is also the ancestor of such words as suspect,spectrum, bishop (literally, overseer), espionage, despise, telescope, andspectacles.] "The answer is that an expectant or prospicient idea moves and guides the ensuing action, being a part-cause of that action." John Laird; Teleology; 1939. wordsmith.org

malapert \mal-uh-PERT\ adjective
: impudently bold : saucy
m-w.com


castigate \KAS-tuh-gayt\, transitive verb: To punish severely; also, to chastise verbally; to rebuke; to criticize severely.
Doctor Dictionary

Confusticate it

1st topic:
How would you define the facial expression on each cat's cute widdle face?


2nd topic:
No, no, you're not thinking, you're just being logical.
- Niels Bohr, physicist (1885-1962)


NOTE: While I am under some stress, I will not be forcing cats to don headware any time soon.
3rd topic:
Hell of a week. Puddles the Wondercar is finally out of the mechanic's clutches. New apartment news: One of my neighbors apparently enjoys cooking pungent food, the odor of which pierces walls and permeates clothing. The second bridesmaid dress of the summer cost twice as much to alter as the first one did. The car fixin' was ... I don't like to think how much. Then there's the rest of this weekend. I haven't bought a wedding gift yet! Shit! Gravy boat! Exquisitely expensive salt and pepper shakers! Table linens! Singing plastic fish thing! Have to check the registry! Then pack! The hotel...cash bar at the reception (just gotta get somebody to buy me drinks)...

There are things you just do as a bridemaid. Orange, yellow, purple dress? Debate the relative merits of seemingly identical ribbons? Drive to 8 stores in 14 cities? Spaghetti straps, high waisted dress, damn-hell-ass shoes? Check check check. I also volunteered to help cut 150 squares of tulle with one girl, was deeply disappointed when I couldn't help the other glue personalized labels to mini candy bars with the other (stupid tenner shift). I like the shoes, both pairs, even if they are a tad uncomfortable. I should really wear heels more often.