If I were you I'd just read the first four paragraphs. If that much. The rest is dull, and a dash narcissistic.

Just for fun, check out the Past Life Generator. I was a detective and a gossip! Good times.

Bear with me, this isn't my best time of day. I can't get back to sleep. How will that color the rest of the day? It's an exciting journey through crankiness, hyperactivity, unintelligible rambling, my patented Thousand Yard Stare (TM), now with Feigned Deafness! At least I'm getting some frigging sunlight. It's lovely.

Anyway, there's nothing like a birthday to make you realize how much crap you've signed up for online, how many companies you've given your birthdate. It's usually required for sweepstakes and often for site registrations.

So far this month I've gotten e-mail greetings from Dairy Queen's Blizzard Club (what the hell? I don't even like Blizzards, why did I sign up?), Pepsi, Astrology.com (go figure, they sent it a week early), and some other places. Nothing from Pall Mall? Have they forgotten me? What about the booze sites? I know you have my DOB, Bacardi, don't even lie.

Speaking of Astrology.com, have you ever found your horoscope to be sort of eerily accurate? I don't mean the daily newspaper blurbs, I'm talking about the personalized description type things. In high school, my friends & I spent a lot of time poring over The Birthday Book, which gives all the signs, rising, which moon whatever is in, for each day of the year. I tried to find it on Amazon, but couldn't sort out which one it was. We read Grendel in English class senior year, in which each chapter corresponds to a sign. It became a little hobby for us. Do I, strictly speaking, believe in astrology? Nah. But it seems to contain certain archetypal truths.

And there's the small thrill of recognizing yourself in the description of someone/something that doesn't know you: "...Thus, Jaime, you tend to look at the broad canvas, the political, social, or group context of any problem or situation. ...While you are very much attuned to whatever group you identify yourself with, you are also very independent minded and this dichotomy between the freedom of the individual and the needs of the group can be the source of ongoing tension in your life." Which is a very nice way of saying I can't make up my mind.

Here are a bunch of horoscopes for today from Yahoo (and no, I don't think anyone is still reading, this is for me):
Daily Aquarius Forecast
Quickie: Organize groups of people by their shared backgrounds, not their shared strengths.
Overview: Are you really going to delegate some of your tasks and responsibilities? Sure, you say that you're going to do it, but instead you keep piling your plate high. It's time to put your money where your mouth is.
Oh, yeah all of my onerous responsibilities. Gotta delegate.

Daily work (by Astrology.com)Your network will be a tremendous asset for you. Out of all of those connections, at least one will have the key to solving the current crisis, and it won't take as long as you fear to find it. -

Daily flirt (by Astrology.com)People still can't stay away from your generosity and kindness as the day begins, but you're not required to be the life of the party all day long. Tonight, you're excused for some quiet, chilling out time, if needed. -
See, that makes me want to live up to it, to actually be generous & kind. Don't they know I have tasks & responsibilities to delegate?
Daily extended (by Astrology.com)Someone has been paying some very careful attention to you for a while now -- from afar. They've made a mental list of everything about you, from your favorite movies to your favorite kind of ice cream. Anyone who's put this much energy into getting to know you would obviously make quite an attentive lover. Think of them as a secret admirer. The good news is that they're ready to tell you all about it. Are you ready to hear it? -

Eww + Wildly inaccurate = perfect horoscope. C'est la vie, it's not an exact non-science.


And some more horoscope stuff:

Section 1: The Inner You: Your Real Motivation
You are a freedom-loving, strong-willed, and independent-minded individual, and you insist upon living your own life as you see fit, even if that means ignoring convention and tradition. In personal relationships you cannot be owned or possessed, and while you are willing to share yourself with another, you do not always adjust easily to the emotional give and take of a close relationship. Though intellectually open, you can be enormously stubborn, opinionated, and inflexible on a one-to-one level. You have strong convictions and feelings about fairness and equality, and you try to live by your ideals, but your ideals about how people SHOULD treat one another don't always take into account human weaknesses, differences, and needs. You probably dislike sentimentality and traditional gender roles and "games".
Section 2: Mental Interests and Abilities
Clear, objective, and realistic, you are unimpressed by exaggerated claims or promises. You insist upon being shown facts to back up any statement you hear, and your natural skepticism often borders on cynicism. You approach problems clearly and rationally and maintain your poise and objectivity even in the midst of critical situations. Anyone seeking your advice is certain to get an unemotional and unbiased assessment of their situation, and you therefore make a good arbitrator or judge. You are thorough, conscientious, and disciplined in your thinking, and have an aptitude for business, organization, and administration. You are also a good strategist, and will plan and patiently follow a realistic course which will lead to your eventual success. Serious-minded and studious, you enjoy quiet time alone for thinking or reading.