Linkuesday

In which I copy Mental Fiber's practice of putting up lots of links on Tuesday.

Yesterday I deleted all the Favorites I had set up on IE at work, e-mailed myself the good ones. Today I'm cleaning out the My Pictures folder, so maybe tomorrow I'll have some pics up.

ABH's Litany of Rejection

How to do an intervention

An excellent waste of time. Arty, kind of trippy.

Reason.

Double Tongued Word Wrester. Need I say more? Possibly.

And, last, a poem: Expectations that could not be denied on this of all days were denied...

How biased are you?

https://implicit.harvard.edu/implicit/demo/index.jsp

I found this test on Slate, in an article by Jay Dixit. My result was 'slightly biased', which I'm not proud of, but I'm not surprised by it. I think we all are, a bit. It would take an unusual upbringing (hopefully it becomes a more common upbringing) to avoid it.

It's an interesting idea, because it's supposed to measure your unconcious associations, and it's almost impossible to fool the test. (The Slate article give a coupls of examples, applications and potential abuses.) An important point is that a person who has biases may not act on them (or speak them, or admit it to themselves), and if they don't, should we hold it against them?

It's good to know "What's your Stripper Song?" (I think mine was the Requiem Mass), but this test was cool too.

Do you ever click on the bravenet stats button?

On the bottom of this page, ya know? I do once or twice a week. It shows the last ten referring websites. The search ones are my favorite. Two examples, one dull, one funny: Google search for 'topics for blogging', JTT was #10 or 11 at that time. Today I saw a hit for this morning, an MSN search for 'dirty turtle pics'. We were number one people. That poor websurfer must have been so disappointed. There was another one I saw, I can't remember what it was. On MSN, my profile was the second thing on the list when I did a search for 'something dirty'. I'm so proud. The other results were simply too vulgar for words. Check 'em out.

Space Aliens, people. It's going to be super cool. Or if it's not we'll go to Pesty's or O'Hara's after a while as usual. Or, horrors, downtown? Rumrunners, DB's, McRudy's, the Press, MC's. No.

Don't worry (if you worry, which I doubt), I am also doing fun stuff on my day off. Why, I might even get my car's oil changed.

If I were you I'd just read the first four paragraphs. If that much. The rest is dull, and a dash narcissistic.

Just for fun, check out the Past Life Generator. I was a detective and a gossip! Good times.

Bear with me, this isn't my best time of day. I can't get back to sleep. How will that color the rest of the day? It's an exciting journey through crankiness, hyperactivity, unintelligible rambling, my patented Thousand Yard Stare (TM), now with Feigned Deafness! At least I'm getting some frigging sunlight. It's lovely.

Anyway, there's nothing like a birthday to make you realize how much crap you've signed up for online, how many companies you've given your birthdate. It's usually required for sweepstakes and often for site registrations.

So far this month I've gotten e-mail greetings from Dairy Queen's Blizzard Club (what the hell? I don't even like Blizzards, why did I sign up?), Pepsi, Astrology.com (go figure, they sent it a week early), and some other places. Nothing from Pall Mall? Have they forgotten me? What about the booze sites? I know you have my DOB, Bacardi, don't even lie.

Speaking of Astrology.com, have you ever found your horoscope to be sort of eerily accurate? I don't mean the daily newspaper blurbs, I'm talking about the personalized description type things. In high school, my friends & I spent a lot of time poring over The Birthday Book, which gives all the signs, rising, which moon whatever is in, for each day of the year. I tried to find it on Amazon, but couldn't sort out which one it was. We read Grendel in English class senior year, in which each chapter corresponds to a sign. It became a little hobby for us. Do I, strictly speaking, believe in astrology? Nah. But it seems to contain certain archetypal truths.

And there's the small thrill of recognizing yourself in the description of someone/something that doesn't know you: "...Thus, Jaime, you tend to look at the broad canvas, the political, social, or group context of any problem or situation. ...While you are very much attuned to whatever group you identify yourself with, you are also very independent minded and this dichotomy between the freedom of the individual and the needs of the group can be the source of ongoing tension in your life." Which is a very nice way of saying I can't make up my mind.

Here are a bunch of horoscopes for today from Yahoo (and no, I don't think anyone is still reading, this is for me):
Daily Aquarius Forecast
Quickie: Organize groups of people by their shared backgrounds, not their shared strengths.
Overview: Are you really going to delegate some of your tasks and responsibilities? Sure, you say that you're going to do it, but instead you keep piling your plate high. It's time to put your money where your mouth is.
Oh, yeah all of my onerous responsibilities. Gotta delegate.

Daily work (by Astrology.com)Your network will be a tremendous asset for you. Out of all of those connections, at least one will have the key to solving the current crisis, and it won't take as long as you fear to find it. -

Daily flirt (by Astrology.com)People still can't stay away from your generosity and kindness as the day begins, but you're not required to be the life of the party all day long. Tonight, you're excused for some quiet, chilling out time, if needed. -
See, that makes me want to live up to it, to actually be generous & kind. Don't they know I have tasks & responsibilities to delegate?
Daily extended (by Astrology.com)Someone has been paying some very careful attention to you for a while now -- from afar. They've made a mental list of everything about you, from your favorite movies to your favorite kind of ice cream. Anyone who's put this much energy into getting to know you would obviously make quite an attentive lover. Think of them as a secret admirer. The good news is that they're ready to tell you all about it. Are you ready to hear it? -

Eww + Wildly inaccurate = perfect horoscope. C'est la vie, it's not an exact non-science.


And some more horoscope stuff:

Section 1: The Inner You: Your Real Motivation
You are a freedom-loving, strong-willed, and independent-minded individual, and you insist upon living your own life as you see fit, even if that means ignoring convention and tradition. In personal relationships you cannot be owned or possessed, and while you are willing to share yourself with another, you do not always adjust easily to the emotional give and take of a close relationship. Though intellectually open, you can be enormously stubborn, opinionated, and inflexible on a one-to-one level. You have strong convictions and feelings about fairness and equality, and you try to live by your ideals, but your ideals about how people SHOULD treat one another don't always take into account human weaknesses, differences, and needs. You probably dislike sentimentality and traditional gender roles and "games".
Section 2: Mental Interests and Abilities
Clear, objective, and realistic, you are unimpressed by exaggerated claims or promises. You insist upon being shown facts to back up any statement you hear, and your natural skepticism often borders on cynicism. You approach problems clearly and rationally and maintain your poise and objectivity even in the midst of critical situations. Anyone seeking your advice is certain to get an unemotional and unbiased assessment of their situation, and you therefore make a good arbitrator or judge. You are thorough, conscientious, and disciplined in your thinking, and have an aptitude for business, organization, and administration. You are also a good strategist, and will plan and patiently follow a realistic course which will lead to your eventual success. Serious-minded and studious, you enjoy quiet time alone for thinking or reading.

If only I had more time, I would make Elliot a helmet from a small gourd perhaps.

Here's a link to a link! Make a noble cat helmet!

Tales

"Those who'll play with cats must expect to be scratched." -- Miguel de Cervantes

This picture is from the last time I fed & watered Elliot while A was out of town. Ell taught me how to hustle pool. We shook down these two guys and a chick at Benton Station. We left just in time, and I don't think we're welcome back.

Catwatch Day Two: The Clawing

Ok, it was really the third day, and I didn't blog about the first two. Whatever! The cat, Elliot, was actually glad to see me today. He was waiting by the door, which is normal, but he seemed, I don't know, less angry that it was me than usual. He was so starved for attention, he even let me pet him for nearly five minutes before starting to bite. He doesn't seem to have eaten much, perhaps his owner radically overfilled the bowl because he thought I might space out on it? Well, I didn't. After CN reminded me, I was so there. A, you might want to check when you get back, Elliot had that guilty-cat look about him. He might have pooped in your room, or maybe ordered The Amityville Horror eleven times on pay per view . You can never tell with cats. Also, he was probably the one who set that fire and rummaged through the hall closet. The smoke damage was minimal, nothing to get all upset about or sue. I'll say this about that cat: he can throw a kickass party. That's cool, right? I know, the old joke about throwing a party at A's place, yada yada yada... but those Hell's Angels weren't joking about leaving the meth lab alone, ok? No touchy. Sometimes it happens, you (meaning the cat) invite a few people over, they tell a few other people, so on & so forth, all of a sudden you (meaning the cat) owe $20,000 to the Stearns County Mafia, and then the cops are all like, 'Oh, you're contributing to the delinquency of a minor'? That is such bullshit. And Elliot probably got that fat lip in a fistfight with St. Cloud superman, but neither of them would talk about it much, so, you know.

Dancing with the stars

Lisa Rinna is ishy. She just made this sort of cat motion, and with her bloated lips she looked like Adam's cat, the heretofore inimitable Elliot.

Job listings

What are some things I am qualified for?
In Fargo, Kelly services is looking for a Mis Manager. I could totally do that.
A company called Volt is seeking ≪Hl≫Navision Consultant≪/Hl≫. I'm probably not qualified.
EXCITING! Get PAID $10-$40/Hour To SHOP Undercover In Your CITY! YES! Perfect. I'd be like a PI, a female Sam Marlowe, but for shopping.

Nope, I'm probably not moving to Fargo in spite of all the opportunities it affords a young go-getter such as myself. Once ABH leaves for Sacramento, it's pretty much gonna be a ghost town. Except for like, Brady, and my family and stuff. But the Family Dollar store in Laramie, WY is looking for a manager. Am I management material?

Jerry the Turtle: Super Secret Edition

We're doing that "good impression" crap at work again: no surfing the internet, no reading at your desk, no crafting, no juggling bowling pins, had to take the mini bar home, etc. Our 'supervisor' suggested we make signs to show we're on break, so we can check our email during lunch or whatever without arousing suspicion and ire. We wouldn't want the buyers to think that January is a slow time for us, and we've lost 40-50% of our call volume. Because they wouldn't know that. And if they do figure it out, some of us may be laid off sooner. If they do it, I hope they take volunteers.

Can't write much longer. They may be watching right now! If anyone wants to e-mail me, that would be simply lovely. somethingdirty at gmail. I will check surreptitiously throughout the day! Vive la resistance!

The sign is gone

The building is being made over in the image of its new owner.
I used to be able to see the big sign outside from my balcony. I had to lean over the railing a little bit, but I could see it.
(does anyone think I should put up one of JK's pics?)

I was in my room last night, and I heard some noise from downstairs.

I can hear the downstairs neighbor's bathroom quite well. Lucky me. I can hear them peeing, running the faucet... the bathroom fan makes the floor rumble & sounds like a muffled lawnmower.

This was a different noise. I thought it was a tv; if it was loud enough, I theorized, as I put on some lotion, the sound could travel from the bedroom to the bathroom, and through the vents or however. It sounded like fighting; I thought it would suck if that wasn't the tv. It wasn't the tv.

It was a man shouting and a woman sobbing, a few slamming doors. What did I do? Tell me what I should have done. I didn't hear anything that sounded like physical violence, it could have been a normal fight, it could have been. After a just a couple of minutes, I heard the last door slam, then silence. Then the shower ran, then silence. So I did not call the police. I have been going back and forth: was this the reasonable or wimp-ass thing to do?

If it happens again, I will call. I will keep an ear open, so to speak.

Was it reluctance, was it fear, was it at least a little bit the possibility that nothing was seriously wrong? Yep yep yep.

So sleepy

Ok, this guy next to me is playing Enya at his fucking desk. Then the girl down the aisle says, "Hey, is that Enya? Turn it up!" Now four or five people are blissing out in a musical paradise. And I took my knitting needles home {I swear, I did well in school, but I'll never learn to knit}, so what can I use to stab myself in the ears?

A lot of people like Enya, that's ok with me. I don't have a need to condemn people for liking music that I don't. And perhaps in certain moods I could tolerate it. However, I come up against the same obstacle again and again. It's too fucking soothing.

Small blessings for today:
-desk neighbor isn't singing
-he didn't bring his guitar
-he isn't talking to me.

Hey, if he read this blog, I bet he'd never talk to me.

any ways, back to my hiatus, I still hate the sight of my own words. Ooh, that reminds me: check out http://everybodysucksbutme.blogspot.com/ . It's fake, half the posts aren't even mine. I just searched through other blogs and copied and pasted and added a few things here & there. It fills me with shameful pride or prideful shame, but who can tell the difference anymore. I'm keeping it because I can't believe that url was still available.

Also, it's Friday the 13th. I have a sense of waiting for the other shoe to drop (that's a weird expression isn't it).

nap time

I'm going to take a little break from blogging, maybe a week or so. I will probably still be around commenting and stuff. And of course, talking shit about all y'all on my super secret website.

Create new post. Edit posts. Moderate comments. Status.

I hate to disappoint, but there will be very little in the way of fetish discussion in this post. Do what you like in the comments, however.

I had a dream last night about a new apartment. I don't think I was moving in alone, but I don't know who the roommates were. It was hot and stuffy in the apartment. A man said it was cool out, and "If you can get the air moving in here" it would be better. I opened the door to the balcony, it was cool out. It was summer, this coolness was what the weather guy would call "good sleeping weather." But the balcony wasn't there. There was a ledge, a wide one you could crawl or stand on. I could see other apartments, they had their balconies. I could see bolts or something where my deck should have been! I wondered, do we not get a deck? How could I have missed this? Will we get one later? It was a nice ledge though.

Topics for blogging

I have had a few ideas for blogging today. Topic ideas: What I hate about the New Year. Why don't people in St. Cloud use their turn signals. Things I think about when I should be sleeping. My new hobby. Rich people suck. People are dumb. What is wrong with me (a semi-comprehensive list). The last book I read. Cuteness.

CuteOverload has a link to a NY Times article on, guess what, The Cuteness Factor. "The rapidity and promiscuity of the cute response makes the impulse suspect." Later on in the article, "...cute images stimulate the same pleasure centers of the brain aroused by sex, a good meal or psychoactive drugs like cocaine, which could explain why everybody in the panda house wore a big grin."

Please give me topics to blog about. I am sick of my ideas.