In case you haven't been keeping up with all the tv shows....

The Onion provides this handy guide:

Season Finale Wrap-Up

The 2006–2007 TV season is over. In the event you couldn't watch them, here are some highlights from the season finales of your favorite shows.

Studio 60 On The Sunset Strip: Saddled with poor, trite, unrealistic writing, Danny and Matt face the cancellation of their show.

The Office: The Dunder-Mifflin employees show glimmers of expectation as they head off to act in some of the worst movies of the summer.

House: Dr. House goes missing, prompting the rest of the hospital staff to scream his name for the entire show.

Ugly Betty: Surprise! America Ferrera is actually beautiful. As if a network would ever put a truly ugly—or even vaguely plain—person on television.

My Name Is Earl: The series comes to an abrupt end when Earl accidentally leaves his list in his jeans pocket and runs it through the wash.

Lost: Sawyer stuns the castaways by confessing that, many years ago, he killed a woman named Laura Palmer.

The King of Queens: The series ends on a down-note when the cast comes out for a final bow and no one claps.

creepy little girl, go away!

Most days I'm glad that I sit sort of off in my own area, but when weird shit happens I got no one to tell about it. This was one of those days.

Today at work work a kid called in a few times, with, like, really lame-yet-unsettling prank calls. It could have been funny to mess with her, but I was on a recorded line. I remember making funny phone calls as a kid. But there are two things you gotta remember: 1) decide what you're going to say before you call, and 2) know when to quit (this is way after you've annoyed the person you're calling, in this case me, but before I start threatening you, unless you have a high tolerance for risk. I didn't really threaten her. I just commented that her mommy might wonder what she's up to). Oh yeah, and don't call someplace where they can get your number really easily. Also, I know she was a little girl - or at least she sounded about eight years old - but you can't get offended if the target calls you on your bullshit. But perhaps some readers have their own prank laws - I would be surprised if you shiftless delinquents didn't have a few tricks up your sleeves.

I don't know if someone was coaching her but I hope not, because this much lameness shouldn't be a team effort. She asked if she could talk to Marleen, then Marvin. I asked her to spell the name of the person she was looking for, and she fell silent. I said "Hello, bored little girl, can you hear me?" Still nothing. I hung up. She called back, sputtering with indignation, "You hunged up on me!". I asked again who she wanted to talk to, or if her mom would come to the phone, which is a lousy reason to get pissed off if you ask me Ooh, she was mad. "Ma'am, you are talking to me like I am not a real person. I don't - you- you - Your boyfriend just broke up with you!" she said and hung up. She called in about five times total. Seriously, her voice sounded super young but she spoke with a mixture of childish confusion and weirdly adult intensity. It didn't come in on the main line so maybe they were dialing randomly or maybe they have a parent who works there. That would be awesome.

I love all the boozing holidays

That isn't really true. Memorial Day isn't really in memorial of sunburn and alcohol abuse, right? When I was a kid I used to go to Memorial Day services or programs with my parents, bring wreaths out to the cemetaries for grandpas and uncles. Do you guys do anything like that? I think my folks will, my bro who's a vet will probably do something too. I'll lounge about as I usually do.

So there

I had this post written up and my computer crashed and I said, fuck it. I'm not going to try to remember what I wrote, it wasn't that great. Something about Isaac Newton and fun.

But so, anyway. How's it going? I've not been keeping up with blogs and whatnot.

I like my job but I have a lot of "fuck it" moments there too. And that is not the attitude of a go-getter!

Shit, Blogger now automatically saves drafts. I'll be darned. I'm a-gonna post that bitch up.

Bleah!

I've been kind of off in my own little world more than usual lately. So I apologize if I've been distant or neglectful of anyone, especially of anyone's blogs! I don't know what I've been doing with my time but I haven't been doing whatever it is online. I haven't even been keeping up with Mr. TiVo. I have eight episodes of The Riches, which is quite a good show. Right now, I'm watching this show called "Great Scientists" which is pretty interesting. This episode is about Isaac Newton. It's Science Lite, which is perfect for me.

The show has kind of a creepy visual vibe, though. And weirdness. Like when they have a dramatization of Newton working in his study, they make it look like an old, scratchy film, but sepia toned; and when Newton talks it sounds like an old, scratchy recording. This seems like a bad idea to me, especially for children. Kids are dumb, and they will think this is actually a film reel. Maybe.

So this weekend there's lots of big plans afoot, that will be fun. I think I need more fun. I'm prescribing myself a big dose of vitamin fun. This is not necessarily to be taken with vitamin beer.

Good morning

I went to bed early so of course I woke up feeling all chipper at 1:30. So now I'm watching the Daily Show. That should knock me out, right?

happy day

At work today I saw Heather in the hallway and she said, "Remember where we were a year ago today? I think about this time we were all drinking our lunch at the bar."

So I guess it's been a year since my job ended, that's cool. It's been quite a year, but not really.

In other news, what happened to Drive 105? This is pissing me off. It's like easy listening or some shit.

You mean Oprah lied to me?

Here's a review of The Secret. This is a good blog. I'm still all about the positive thinking, but you don't gotta be a fool about it.

Windy out, isn't it?

It seems like if it's going to bother being this windy out, it should rain or something. My chin hurts, but that's a story for never, ever. It's nap time. Hope everybody's having a splendid weekend!

Stephen Colbert made a joke about lutefisk last night.

This amazes me. I was tickled pink, in fact. I have never eaten lutefisk, but maybe I would try it. I don't know. Lutefisk, for the non-Norske among us, is fish that has been cured in lye. Then it sits in a barrel for a while, then they rinse it very well, then it is cooked and served with butter.

There are two stories I have heard about the origin of this delicacy. The first one is boring. It was a good way to keep the fish edible on board ships during long sea voyages in the old days. The second story, I may have invented but it's more fun: The Vikings were raiding some village, and the villagers decided to poison their fish with lye. It didn't kill the tough, crazy Vikings, and they liked the flavor and made it their national delicacy. Please tell me if you've heard this anywhere else, it would please me if I didn't invent it.