Hee. Damn.
Simon Cowell.
I don't understand people. How is this guy so popular/hated? I don't like American Idol, at all. And I'm going to fast forward thru most of the Dick Clark tribute.
...Aw, no. His speech was quite sweet.
Oh, a callback to the trapped-Bob-Newhart joke. Good times.
Evangaline Lilly: great dress. Creative arts Emmys: borrrring.
Guest stars on dramas are often the best part. Doesn't Christina Ricci look weird?
HBO has the most nominations this year, 95... I haven't had any premium channels since May and I didn't miss them after the first week. Except maybe Penn & Teller Bullshit. Why didn't that get nominated for something?
................
Howie Mandel and Megan Mullaly. Fast forward!
This is the lamest pseudo liveblogging ever. Actually I haven't read any liveblogging since I quit my daily Gawker/Defamer habit.
Ha! The director of the Emmys one for last year's Oscars. Sweet. You would think he'd keep his speech a bit shorter. THey're giving him the music! Ha! And he's directing the cameras thru out his speech. That was pretty cool.
LOL. Funny things happening on the teevee. Too complicated to ype. Wouldn't be funny anyway.
I'm glad I'm wasting my time like this.
>>>>>>>>>>>
Why didn't Colbert go up with the rest of the Daily Show guys? He was on their nominee list as a writer. Wouldn't that be a swell job? Lots of pressure however. I've heard that comedy is tragedy plus time. Their turnaround time on the tragedy that is world news is a bit too fast for me to keep up with sometimes.
Oh! Mah! God! TiVo just had a guest spot!
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Hearing Hugh Laurie's real accent is kind of weird.... fortunately (?) he's speaking French.
I don't like Matthew Perry's hair! But he's still very funny.
Bradley Whitford is graying.
Both look swell in their suits. Grrr.
Don't know who to root for for best comedy actor except "not Charlie Sheen".
Eh Tony Shalhoug won, that's cool. He's acting all nervous and a bit Monk-ish... oh but it's all an act. I think Kevin James is going to kick his ass in the parking lot.
******************
What the fuck is Candace Bergin wearing?
It's 9:13. I'm at 8:55. Catchin' up!
Aaron Spelling tribute. Ok, I feel churlish, but fast forward! On to hour three... wait did whatsisface say "He made tv that just tasted good."? My, he was a goofy looking young man. Who actually looks better old and gnarled? Aaron Spelling does; god rest his soul.
Sunday, August 27
The Emmy Awards
How dumb is this show? It's pretty dumb. Why am I still watching?
______________
No, it's really just the preshow that sucks. The entertainment reporters, particularly Billy Bush are snide and passive aggressive and at least half of the stars they snag for their interviews are visibly uncomfortable.
+++++
I'm watching this on TiVo, and I had to reboot my computer seventeen thousand times, so I'm about half an hour behind on the broadcast. It isn't exactly live blogging, but whatevers. The intro is pretty cool.
Conan O'Brien's plane crashes on the way to the Emmys. He ends up on The Lost's island, and decides to go down the mysterious hatch... which takes him to The Office. He climbs down, and Dwight goes, "Dammit, Jim!"
Jim: "No, I did not have Conan O'Brien drop down from the ceiling."
Then Michael makes a lame joke, Conan makes an Officey-type interview comment about the potential for "will they-won't they sexual tension that ultimately goes nowhere" with Pam and makes his exit.
Now he's on 24, and I don't care again.
Ooh, it's House. Good times. He's giving Conie whatfor. He seems to be diagnosing him as pasty and flaccid.
Now he's on South Park... the "In the closet" episode. So best!
Ooh big applause from the audience for calling Tom Cruise gay, or at least picturing him you know in the 'closet'.
Now Conan's on Dateline: To Catch A Predator. Conebone69. He makes a run for it. He's there, a-hosting. I'm 45 minutes behind the broadcast.
I used to like watching Late Night, but lately he's gotten a bit lame. Like he hits the punch lines too hard and aims for Leno-esque applause over edgy humor. He is doing well so far tonight... I don't know how much longer I can watch this. Thank Jebus for fast forward.
His instruction to winners: Don't thank your parents in your acceptance speech; if you grew up in a happy well-adjusted home you wouldn't be in show biz.
More goodness! A musical number! Take off of The Music Man. "We got trouble, with a capital T and that rhymes with G as in gee, we're screwed." About NBC of course.
Lerve it. Can't believe this is how I'm spending my Sunday night, this is much better than what I originally had planned.
Megan Mullally won. She annoys me, I'm skipping her speech.
+++++
If I keep skipping the winner's speeches I'll be caught up pretty quick.
I love the authoritarian/efficiency expert thing Conan is doing. He's got Bob Newhart in a sealed glass tube with exactly 3 hours worth of air. Better keep them speeches short.
================
Blythe Danner won! Awesome. And she looks great. Huff was a good show.
Will Arnett wuz robbed. Anybody disagree?
Kelly McDonald has a very pretty dress. I know I've seen her in something else, what was it? Love that accent.
8:24: I'm 40 minutes behind the broadcast. Who's even still reading? Bob Newhart looks nervous.
John Lithgow: lovably annoying. Heidi Klum reads surprisingly well.
How to pick between the Daily Show and the Colbert Report?
Do you think Jon and Stephen have tension? Jon's a producer on le Report, n'est pas? So anywhoo, The Daily Show won!
Cloris Leachman just shook her tits!
And while I was rooting for Arrested Development, the My Name is Earl dude gave a wonderful acceptance speech.
______________
No, it's really just the preshow that sucks. The entertainment reporters, particularly Billy Bush are snide and passive aggressive and at least half of the stars they snag for their interviews are visibly uncomfortable.
+++++
I'm watching this on TiVo, and I had to reboot my computer seventeen thousand times, so I'm about half an hour behind on the broadcast. It isn't exactly live blogging, but whatevers. The intro is pretty cool.
Conan O'Brien's plane crashes on the way to the Emmys. He ends up on The Lost's island, and decides to go down the mysterious hatch... which takes him to The Office. He climbs down, and Dwight goes, "Dammit, Jim!"
Jim: "No, I did not have Conan O'Brien drop down from the ceiling."
Then Michael makes a lame joke, Conan makes an Officey-type interview comment about the potential for "will they-won't they sexual tension that ultimately goes nowhere" with Pam and makes his exit.
Now he's on 24, and I don't care again.
Ooh, it's House. Good times. He's giving Conie whatfor. He seems to be diagnosing him as pasty and flaccid.
Now he's on South Park... the "In the closet" episode. So best!
Ooh big applause from the audience for calling Tom Cruise gay, or at least picturing him you know in the 'closet'.
Now Conan's on Dateline: To Catch A Predator. Conebone69. He makes a run for it. He's there, a-hosting. I'm 45 minutes behind the broadcast.
I used to like watching Late Night, but lately he's gotten a bit lame. Like he hits the punch lines too hard and aims for Leno-esque applause over edgy humor. He is doing well so far tonight... I don't know how much longer I can watch this. Thank Jebus for fast forward.
His instruction to winners: Don't thank your parents in your acceptance speech; if you grew up in a happy well-adjusted home you wouldn't be in show biz.
More goodness! A musical number! Take off of The Music Man. "We got trouble, with a capital T and that rhymes with G as in gee, we're screwed." About NBC of course.
Lerve it. Can't believe this is how I'm spending my Sunday night, this is much better than what I originally had planned.
Megan Mullally won. She annoys me, I'm skipping her speech.
+++++
If I keep skipping the winner's speeches I'll be caught up pretty quick.
I love the authoritarian/efficiency expert thing Conan is doing. He's got Bob Newhart in a sealed glass tube with exactly 3 hours worth of air. Better keep them speeches short.
================
Blythe Danner won! Awesome. And she looks great. Huff was a good show.
Will Arnett wuz robbed. Anybody disagree?
Kelly McDonald has a very pretty dress. I know I've seen her in something else, what was it? Love that accent.
8:24: I'm 40 minutes behind the broadcast. Who's even still reading? Bob Newhart looks nervous.
John Lithgow: lovably annoying. Heidi Klum reads surprisingly well.
How to pick between the Daily Show and the Colbert Report?
Do you think Jon and Stephen have tension? Jon's a producer on le Report, n'est pas? So anywhoo, The Daily Show won!
Cloris Leachman just shook her tits!
And while I was rooting for Arrested Development, the My Name is Earl dude gave a wonderful acceptance speech.
Saturday, August 26
Movies I would really like to see
From Slate's movie title contest, inspired by the brilliantly named Snakes on a Plane.
Apes at a Rave
That's Not Sangria!
Handcuffed to Tigers
Stop Doing Crimes!
Woody Allen Is Too Old For This
The Uplifting Retard (yeah, it's offensive. it's meant to be)
This Movie Effing Scared Japanese Color
Apes at a Rave
That's Not Sangria!
Handcuffed to Tigers
Stop Doing Crimes!
Woody Allen Is Too Old For This
The Uplifting Retard (yeah, it's offensive. it's meant to be)
This Movie Effing Scared Japanese Color
Friday, August 25
I just put on black nail polish.
It seemed like the thing to do.
I also just heard a good quote from a commercial for Monk: "It's going to be a great party. I'm not completely dreading it." I elected to stay home and vegetate in front of the teevee in lieu of my many exciting invites to various society events: charity balls, seances, waterskiing shows, bars.
A few days ago on NPR, a few campaign staffers were touting the merits of their particular candidates. One said of Mike Hatch "You gotta admire his skepticism."
I don't know. I was going to vote for him, but he comes off as a bit of a douchebag. And he doesn't play well with others, but that worked out great with Ventura, right? Thus ends my cogent, insightful political analysis.
Anybody want to tell me who to vote for?
Will you still be my friend if I wear black nail polish?
I also just heard a good quote from a commercial for Monk: "It's going to be a great party. I'm not completely dreading it." I elected to stay home and vegetate in front of the teevee in lieu of my many exciting invites to various society events: charity balls, seances, waterskiing shows, bars.
A few days ago on NPR, a few campaign staffers were touting the merits of their particular candidates. One said of Mike Hatch "You gotta admire his skepticism."
I don't know. I was going to vote for him, but he comes off as a bit of a douchebag. And he doesn't play well with others, but that worked out great with Ventura, right? Thus ends my cogent, insightful political analysis.
Anybody want to tell me who to vote for?
Will you still be my friend if I wear black nail polish?
Just got back from the mall. I have some bad news.
E (crapnasty) is the one who brought this issue up, I mean I noticed, but she really brought it into focus. I don't think she's going to blog about it, so it's my job to share this bad news. Ok, the 80s are back, and not like last year or the year before, but in a big, awful way. Some people can do the look (like the fine women of Ear Candy and many others of my acquaintance), I don't think most can. Leggings? The skinny jean? Oversized sweater, in fuschia stripes accented with a big ol' belt.
We discussed stock piling boot cut jeans in case the skinny-skinny legged jeans threaten to take over the stores like the extreme low-rise did so very recently. It's not a flattering look for most women, and you know what comes next? Looser pants, but tapered. After all the missionary work Oprah has done along with the ladies from the British show What Not To Wear.
We discussed stock piling boot cut jeans in case the skinny-skinny legged jeans threaten to take over the stores like the extreme low-rise did so very recently. It's not a flattering look for most women, and you know what comes next? Looser pants, but tapered. After all the missionary work Oprah has done along with the ladies from the British show What Not To Wear.
I feel like TiVo really "gets me" today, you know?
While I was at work it recorded The Shop Around the Corner and The Princess Bride. What a pal!
Thursday, August 24
It's that time of year
Coming up on the anniversary of the 9/11 attacks. Ok, it's like 3 weeks away, but between that and Hurricane Katrina's first anniversary, you know, I want to avoid all the misery retrospectives coming down the pike. I don't want to see any movies about it, any news specials or footage from the day. I don't want to read about it, see pictures of Ground Zero and the families. I don't want to hear politicians make speeches. I don't want to read dumbass blogs about it : ). I can't believe it's been five years, can you?
I think I will stop listening to NPR for a couple of weeks, switch the radio back to Lite 99 for a bit, because I imagine they'll be all newsy on that shit. Is it self-centered or something, if I avoid reading, watching, hearing all the tributes and stuff? Remember that fall, being glued to the TV for weeks? Whenever the new fall tv shows come out, I remember how they pushed back all the premieres that year. Remember the celebrities, dressing down for the Emmy's out of respect? How nice.
I was watching the Today Show before work that day, which I never did, and haven't since. Remember the dawning realization, the second plane hitting? The papers from all those offices floating through the sky? Some assholes are marketing a September 11th memorial collectible coin. The World Trade Center folds up and it's made from metal from the vaults under the World Trade Center. Who wouldn't want to own that?
It's raining like a sumbitch again.
I think I will stop listening to NPR for a couple of weeks, switch the radio back to Lite 99 for a bit, because I imagine they'll be all newsy on that shit. Is it self-centered or something, if I avoid reading, watching, hearing all the tributes and stuff? Remember that fall, being glued to the TV for weeks? Whenever the new fall tv shows come out, I remember how they pushed back all the premieres that year. Remember the celebrities, dressing down for the Emmy's out of respect? How nice.
I was watching the Today Show before work that day, which I never did, and haven't since. Remember the dawning realization, the second plane hitting? The papers from all those offices floating through the sky? Some assholes are marketing a September 11th memorial collectible coin. The World Trade Center folds up and it's made from metal from the vaults under the World Trade Center. Who wouldn't want to own that?
It's raining like a sumbitch again.
Monday, August 21
Sunday, August 20
What does TiVo think of me?
Tivo sometimes uses the extra DVR space to record stuff for me that it thinks I will like. It recorded Legends of the Fall, A Few Good Men and While You Were Sleeping for me last night. Now, I've seen these movies, and they are ok but not anything I'd seek out to watch; I'm going to delete them forthwith. Currently it's recording Meet the Parents and at least twice a week I get an episode of The Twilight Zone. One Friday it recorded three straight hours of home improvement type shows like While You Were Out, Debbie Travis' Painted House and the oddly-named I Want That! Kitchens.
TiVo has these little keys, Thumbs Up and Thumbs Down that you use to indicate shows you like or hate. So I guess I must have liked something related to these shows... Yep, I clicked on a couple of Brad Pitt movies, hence Legends of the Fall. And according to TiVo, Meet the Parents and A Few Good Men are both 'similar programs' to Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Sometimes I get mildly offended by some of the things TiVo suggests for me. Like what makes you think I want to watch Cribs? Or any reality show, especially on MTV? I'm trying to think what I clicked on to give that impression.
The Daily Show's list of similar programs is fairly spot on. It lists Chappelle's Show, Arrested Development, Scrubs (my favorite cancelled or nearly cancelled shows). Also, Office Space, The Office, SNL, South Park, The Simpsons.
Because I used to record the X-Files regularly, all manner of inferior sci-fi is recommended for me. Don't they get it? Stargate is not the same! And I thumbsed up (yeah, I said thumbsed up) Starsky & Hutch (the movie, for the butterscotch stallion, natch) and TiVo thinks that means I wanna watch The Whole Ten Yards? You don't know me at all!
There have been some software updates recently that I have found discomfiting. Fer instance, instead of Pick Programs to Record, the menu now invites me to Find Programs. And there's a Recently Deleted Items folder, so if you accidentally hit delete, the Very Special Episode of Blossom isn't gone and lost forever, you can recover that shit if you want. It's convenient but it's weird and new and upsetting.
There are also little ads at the bottom, for movies, cars, Disneyland; you just click on it to play the ad or request information. One of the ads says TiVo wants me to throw it a party? (What a weird marketing thing. Check out http://www.houseparty.com. Huh? Coffee house party? K-Mart house party?)
Would you go to a TiVo party? Any pretext for a party is great, but TiVo isn't as party friendly as say, Tupperware or sex toys. If for some bizarre reason I do end up having the TiVo party -- or tupperware and/or sex toys for that matter -- I wouldn't expect anyone to buy stuff. That's not what a party should be about. It's supposed to be about drinking, people, and we shouldn't sully that with commerce.
TiVo has these little keys, Thumbs Up and Thumbs Down that you use to indicate shows you like or hate. So I guess I must have liked something related to these shows... Yep, I clicked on a couple of Brad Pitt movies, hence Legends of the Fall. And according to TiVo, Meet the Parents and A Few Good Men are both 'similar programs' to Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Sometimes I get mildly offended by some of the things TiVo suggests for me. Like what makes you think I want to watch Cribs? Or any reality show, especially on MTV? I'm trying to think what I clicked on to give that impression.
The Daily Show's list of similar programs is fairly spot on. It lists Chappelle's Show, Arrested Development, Scrubs (my favorite cancelled or nearly cancelled shows). Also, Office Space, The Office, SNL, South Park, The Simpsons.
Because I used to record the X-Files regularly, all manner of inferior sci-fi is recommended for me. Don't they get it? Stargate is not the same! And I thumbsed up (yeah, I said thumbsed up) Starsky & Hutch (the movie, for the butterscotch stallion, natch) and TiVo thinks that means I wanna watch The Whole Ten Yards? You don't know me at all!
There have been some software updates recently that I have found discomfiting. Fer instance, instead of Pick Programs to Record, the menu now invites me to Find Programs. And there's a Recently Deleted Items folder, so if you accidentally hit delete, the Very Special Episode of Blossom isn't gone and lost forever, you can recover that shit if you want. It's convenient but it's weird and new and upsetting.
There are also little ads at the bottom, for movies, cars, Disneyland; you just click on it to play the ad or request information. One of the ads says TiVo wants me to throw it a party? (What a weird marketing thing. Check out http://www.houseparty.com. Huh? Coffee house party? K-Mart house party?)
Would you go to a TiVo party? Any pretext for a party is great, but TiVo isn't as party friendly as say, Tupperware or sex toys. If for some bizarre reason I do end up having the TiVo party -- or tupperware and/or sex toys for that matter -- I wouldn't expect anyone to buy stuff. That's not what a party should be about. It's supposed to be about drinking, people, and we shouldn't sully that with commerce.
Friday, August 18
DEATH TO CAPS LOCK?
This seems slightly excessive. It's annoying when abused, but I have two programs at work that require all caps, well I guess it just makes using them way easier, but anyways. They are proposing doing away with the key entirely because of annoying people who abuse it and because with case-sensitive passwords, sometimes you gotta retype it if you have caps lock on. Boo hoo. Who has the energy to turn this into their big cause?
Here's the story from Wired.
Here's the story from Wired.
Conclusion: kids are dumb
On Dateline they had this story about food advertising to kids and how well it works. The reporter did a little experiment: show a bunch of preschoolers two cupcakes, one decorated with a frosting American flag (wouldn't eating the flag be as direspectful as, say, burning it?) and and one with Spider Man. They chose Spider Man every time, little commie bastards.
Then the newsteam upped the ante: what if the kids had to choose between a plain cupcake and a banana covered with Spider Man, Scooby Doo and Spongebob stickers? The tiny, adorable idiots overwhelmingly chose the banana.
Then, oh! then, they did the final test: sticker-free banana vs. rock with cartoon stickers and asked the tykes which one they would want for breakfast. Most of the kids chose the rock. Now, this wasn't scientific, they didn't give the stats, there was no double blind. Just a bunch of shots of kids pointing at decorated rocks. There was one hilarious exchange. The reporter chick kept repeating "No, for breakfast. No, for breakfast," and the little girl was like, yeah, I know, I want that one, Spongebob wouldn't steer me wrong.
So we shouldn't advertise to lil kids because they are dumb enough to fall for it? Whatevs, I'm going to let the free market sort this out.
Then the newsteam upped the ante: what if the kids had to choose between a plain cupcake and a banana covered with Spider Man, Scooby Doo and Spongebob stickers? The tiny, adorable idiots overwhelmingly chose the banana.
Then, oh! then, they did the final test: sticker-free banana vs. rock with cartoon stickers and asked the tykes which one they would want for breakfast. Most of the kids chose the rock. Now, this wasn't scientific, they didn't give the stats, there was no double blind. Just a bunch of shots of kids pointing at decorated rocks. There was one hilarious exchange. The reporter chick kept repeating "No, for breakfast. No, for breakfast," and the little girl was like, yeah, I know, I want that one, Spongebob wouldn't steer me wrong.
So we shouldn't advertise to lil kids because they are dumb enough to fall for it? Whatevs, I'm going to let the free market sort this out.
Wednesday, August 16
Healthy goodness from WebMD
Club drug cures depression? I know, right? It's medicinal, bitch.
Don't be a sucker. Harriet would love this.
What not to mix with your booze. But I like being combative and agitated when I drink.
Fizzy drinks don't cause cancer. Suddenly that soda is oddly less alluring.
Naps help babies learn. Stupid lazy babies, always looking for an excuse.
Did you know ...
An Inconvenient Truth has a soundtrack/music video tie in? Shit. Polar bears are drowning, people! I gotta get to Glacier National Park while it still has glaciers. Fuck. I knew watching VH1 was a bad idea. The environment is a pain in the ass, I say we get rid of it. At least I watched this video on fast forward. But now I really wanna see Al Gore's multi-million dollar Power Point movie. And I'm still not interesting in the music of Melissa Etheridge. Borrring!
Now I'm watching Snow Patrol, very interesting, the guy is singing about how he'll lay here, just lay here. And in the video he just lays there and sings in a variety of settings. Mountainside, floor of a subway car (very unhygeinic). Boring song but ok for background music.
And that concludes my music video review.
Now I'm watching Snow Patrol, very interesting, the guy is singing about how he'll lay here, just lay here. And in the video he just lays there and sings in a variety of settings. Mountainside, floor of a subway car (very unhygeinic). Boring song but ok for background music.
And that concludes my music video review.
Tuesday, August 15
Oh a filing we will go
New jobs can be interesting, or very dull, or sort of a mix of both. I did some overtime last night and tonight. I am just doing some sort of filing crap. It's sort of tedious, mind numbing, time consuming. My boss and I are fine with the first two, it's the last one that is causing a problem. Today she actually told me she finds it hard to believe that I only got x amount of work done in y amount of time (where x and y are some numbers I can't remember).
So I tried to go a lot faster tonight, be more efficient (she has little notes about efficiency all over her office), but it still took a hella long time. Still not done. She'll probably be pissed, but what are ya gonna do?
So I tried to go a lot faster tonight, be more efficient (she has little notes about efficiency all over her office), but it still took a hella long time. Still not done. She'll probably be pissed, but what are ya gonna do?
Monday, August 14
Sunday, August 13
At the end of the weekend.
I only made it to one of the hospitals today, MINCEP at Abbot Northwestern. My 2nd oldest brother has been there for about a week. Hopefully he will have his seizures better managed -- maybe completely gone but can't get our hopes up too high. My parents and one of my other brothers went to visit him, we watched movies and hung out. It's a pretty swanky hospital, if he wasn't all wired up and had to stay in the department and maybe if he could go outside once or twice a day for a smoke, it wouldn't be so bad.
Good times.
I don't feel so good, so I came home early tonight. No good reason except maybe I overdid it last night and it's just hitting me now? Oh well, what are ya gonna do? I'm going to drink some water and go to sleep. Seriously, what the hell?
Saturday, August 12
Ok. That went well.
The show-thing at the Ritz Theater. It was a good time. If you missed it, I pity you, but the podcast should be available somewhere or other eventually, perhaps.
I'm a bit tired today, but there's lots o'weekend to go. Today: work at the candle store, out to the bar for whatshisface's birthday, then tomorrow I may get to visit as many as two hospitals (don't worry, nobody's dying)! Very exciting.
I have a lot of thoughts rolling around in my head, perhaps some of them can be expressed in blog form.
Um, people are awesome? I like sitting in a yard. Talking to some people I know and others I don't know, but who know people that I know and have very interesting things to say. Further more, I forgot how much I like the smell of an empty theater. And I had a sidecar for the first time. Quite a delicious drink that is.
I'm a bit tired today, but there's lots o'weekend to go. Today: work at the candle store, out to the bar for whatshisface's birthday, then tomorrow I may get to visit as many as two hospitals (don't worry, nobody's dying)! Very exciting.
I have a lot of thoughts rolling around in my head, perhaps some of them can be expressed in blog form.
Um, people are awesome? I like sitting in a yard. Talking to some people I know and others I don't know, but who know people that I know and have very interesting things to say. Further more, I forgot how much I like the smell of an empty theater. And I had a sidecar for the first time. Quite a delicious drink that is.
Thursday, August 10
Longer posts to come!
Thrill to a tale of grocery shopping gone mildly awry!
Look at pictures of kittens stolen from other websites!
Click on links to an article about some damn thing from Slate or maybe The Village Voice!
Read about the controversial switch from Brach's mixed candy to sugarfree mints in the candy bowl at work and also read my weak, poorly defended attempt to turn it into a metaphor about life!
All this and more... coming soon.
Look at pictures of kittens stolen from other websites!
Click on links to an article about some damn thing from Slate or maybe The Village Voice!
Read about the controversial switch from Brach's mixed candy to sugarfree mints in the candy bowl at work and also read my weak, poorly defended attempt to turn it into a metaphor about life!
All this and more... coming soon.
Monday, August 7
"I don't think adequate is quite the superlative you thought it was."
I'm really going to bed now. At least I'm going to lay on the couch and not think, watch tv, etc. Nope, no etc. Just watch tv and and not think.
Sunday, August 6
Saturday, August 5
The consolation of philosophy
There is probably a book called that or something, I don't know and I'm too lazy to google.
Tuesday, August 1
I was disappointed but now I'm not.
I've been watching NewsRadio on Nikelodeon. I was beginning to think the show had lost the je ne sais quoi, zat certain zomezing I always loved about it. Then I saw this episode:
"Well, you ripped out its heart, and shoved it down its throat. Then you put the whole thing through a meat grinder, then you cooked it up, ate it with a spoon and barfed it back onto a cassette tape."
Remember that one? This line too: The! crack! of! the! bat! the! roar! of! the! crowd! And Speedo Freedom, or Speedom.
Good stuff.
"Well, you ripped out its heart, and shoved it down its throat. Then you put the whole thing through a meat grinder, then you cooked it up, ate it with a spoon and barfed it back onto a cassette tape."
Remember that one? This line too: The! crack! of! the! bat! the! roar! of! the! crowd! And Speedo Freedom, or Speedom.
Good stuff.
Count Your Blessings -- and Your Money: Money Matters - Yahoo! Finance
Count Your Blessings -- and Your Money: Money Matters - Yahoo! Finance
I think I was talking about this subject with somebody this weekend. I agree with Suze Orman. Money can't buy happiness, but being flat broke can sure make you unhappy pretty quick. It's not about how much money you have, just that you have just enough and how you use it.
I think I was talking about this subject with somebody this weekend. I agree with Suze Orman. Money can't buy happiness, but being flat broke can sure make you unhappy pretty quick. It's not about how much money you have, just that you have just enough and how you use it.
Sunday, July 30
What up?
Last night I drank white wine (with ice, of course) and beer (no ice. Ms. M got blood blisters opening the beer bottles with pliers, I owe her a bottle opener at the very very least). I also played Cranium. It was fun. I always forget how fun board games can be. Board games are the new black. I dub them cool. Sadly, my declaration does not have the force of law, or of actual coolness.
Cranium is fun because the categories are good for almost everybody, combining elements of Pictionary, trivia, charades and word games. It's simple but has variety. There's not much trickiness. The only strategy I can think of for this game is not to put the nerds on the same team. Nerd power multiplies.
Some games are way too fucking complicated. Like a lot of card games. Is it sad that I don't have the patience or concentration to learn the rules to pinochle? Phase Ten? Sometimes I get lost during Go Fish and forget who's turn it is.
This morning I watched QVC. It was delicious.
Cranium is fun because the categories are good for almost everybody, combining elements of Pictionary, trivia, charades and word games. It's simple but has variety. There's not much trickiness. The only strategy I can think of for this game is not to put the nerds on the same team. Nerd power multiplies.
Some games are way too fucking complicated. Like a lot of card games. Is it sad that I don't have the patience or concentration to learn the rules to pinochle? Phase Ten? Sometimes I get lost during Go Fish and forget who's turn it is.
This morning I watched QVC. It was delicious.
Thursday, July 27
How may I correct your doll?
The new job is going well. I'm getting faster at my little tasks, so I'm glad to be learning more stuff so I don't just sit there bored. I press a lot of buttons and sometimes I get to walk around and go get stuff and bring stuff to places.
Also: The new hair is fine, not too crazy, not too boring. I love the way my hair feels right after it's colored. They got them good conditioners these days.
Also: The new hair is fine, not too crazy, not too boring. I love the way my hair feels right after it's colored. They got them good conditioners these days.
Sunday, July 23
Hair color adventures!
CN went blonde! It looks awesome!
And I finally used the box of light auburn haircolor I've had around for a few weeks. In fact, it's soaking into my follicles as we speak. I got 23 minutes left. I probably shouldn't dye my hair at 11 on a Sunday night, huh? I won't see how it really looks til 7:30 tomorrow. Then it will be too late.
We're doing casual wear at work next week. That will be super fun, I guess. Everybody in HR/Admin seems excited, but a little nervous about what people will decide is suitable for casual, yet work appropriate clothes. Maybe when I've worked there longer I'll really get how novel and awesome it is to wear jeans and flip flops to work.
Oh, and there are no socks required. I'm so excited to see people look normal in sandals.
On a sock/sandal note: I thought I read something this weekend about the menswear fall fashion shows, but it must have been a fevered dream. I thought it said that big slouchy socks with sandals were all over the runways. Cripes. Here is the thing that I read.
Well, I have to go rinse out the color now. Wish me luck.
And I finally used the box of light auburn haircolor I've had around for a few weeks. In fact, it's soaking into my follicles as we speak. I got 23 minutes left. I probably shouldn't dye my hair at 11 on a Sunday night, huh? I won't see how it really looks til 7:30 tomorrow. Then it will be too late.
We're doing casual wear at work next week. That will be super fun, I guess. Everybody in HR/Admin seems excited, but a little nervous about what people will decide is suitable for casual, yet work appropriate clothes. Maybe when I've worked there longer I'll really get how novel and awesome it is to wear jeans and flip flops to work.
Oh, and there are no socks required. I'm so excited to see people look normal in sandals.
On a sock/sandal note: I thought I read something this weekend about the menswear fall fashion shows, but it must have been a fevered dream. I thought it said that big slouchy socks with sandals were all over the runways. Cripes. Here is the thing that I read.
Well, I have to go rinse out the color now. Wish me luck.
This is kind of cool.
The reporter guy didn't use any of his interview with me, but I forgive him. I wouldn't have either. I said 'um' and 'I dunno' a lot. He did quote Hon Bun, and that is AWESOME.
Here's the article.
And some quotes from various MN bloggers, including one from yours truly that didn't seem funny at the time but I guess it was, huh? Here's my favorite: "i want a jeep so bad it tears my soul apart. the older i get, the more i realize that i am not my honda civic and my honda civic is not me." - Christa, on Big Giant Tampon Commercial
Here's the article.
And some quotes from various MN bloggers, including one from yours truly that didn't seem funny at the time but I guess it was, huh? Here's my favorite: "i want a jeep so bad it tears my soul apart. the older i get, the more i realize that i am not my honda civic and my honda civic is not me." - Christa, on Big Giant Tampon Commercial
Here's an interesting article.
Immigrant children's roles open to interpretation
I think anyone who has worked in customer service over the phone has dealt with this: A very young sounding kid interpreting for their parents. "My mom says this bill doesn't look right. What is this charge for?" We had a translation service at my last job but many times they didn't want to do that. And most of the time I worked there they had one Spanish speaking rep who was almost never available. And couldn't really help with our Somalian, Hmong, etc, customers. Most of the parents know some English but I guess they want to be sure they are getting everything right. I feel bad for some of these kids, it seems like too much responsibility. And it sucks to tell a kid who sounds like he's ten years old at most, "You should tell your dad that we can't turn the phone back on until the bill is paid."
A lot of kids have to take on some sort of grown-up responsibility in their homes -- babysitting, watching out for irresponisble parents, shopping, taking care of the house. Not just ordinary chores, but stuff that is typically the domain of an adult. Sometimes these kids totally rebel, sometimes they turn out to be super competent, capable adults.
I'm not one of those "Don't move here if ya cain't speak English" types. Just because you talk to someone who doesn't speak English on the day you happen to talk to them doesn't mean they aren't trying to learn. And I bet it's hard to find time to study when you have three kids and you are working 12 hour days at a crappy job.
Yeah well, good article.
I think anyone who has worked in customer service over the phone has dealt with this: A very young sounding kid interpreting for their parents. "My mom says this bill doesn't look right. What is this charge for?" We had a translation service at my last job but many times they didn't want to do that. And most of the time I worked there they had one Spanish speaking rep who was almost never available. And couldn't really help with our Somalian, Hmong, etc, customers. Most of the parents know some English but I guess they want to be sure they are getting everything right. I feel bad for some of these kids, it seems like too much responsibility. And it sucks to tell a kid who sounds like he's ten years old at most, "You should tell your dad that we can't turn the phone back on until the bill is paid."
A lot of kids have to take on some sort of grown-up responsibility in their homes -- babysitting, watching out for irresponisble parents, shopping, taking care of the house. Not just ordinary chores, but stuff that is typically the domain of an adult. Sometimes these kids totally rebel, sometimes they turn out to be super competent, capable adults.
I'm not one of those "Don't move here if ya cain't speak English" types. Just because you talk to someone who doesn't speak English on the day you happen to talk to them doesn't mean they aren't trying to learn. And I bet it's hard to find time to study when you have three kids and you are working 12 hour days at a crappy job.
Yeah well, good article.
Saturday, July 22
Word verification
I had to turn on the word verification because there was a sudden influx of spam. Got along without it for a while. I don't like having it because I suck at it -- I always get the ones with two u's or a bunch of m's and l's that I can't make out.
Wednesday, July 19
Big night in: A big long post
I went to my friend's apartment tonight. She is in a crisis, a pivotal moment in her life. Another friend came over too, she is staying overnight and going back home in the morning. We talked and talked and talked. We baked cookies, watched tv. Talked some more. About what jail was like, stuff like that. It was a good night.
People have asked my why I even bother with this crisis-friend anymore, after all the shit that has gone down. I guess I was waiting for something like this to happen. I wish it hadn't, but as I posted before it could have been worse. Don't you believe in redemption? I do.
(By the way, the incident happened slightly different than they reported in the paper, let me know if you want details. For those who don't know what I'm talking about, if you're really curious e-mail me. It's not exactly a secret, but it's not what this post is really about.)
So, she is finally acknowledging her problem with alcohol. She is going for treatment. She is letting us tell her that she is neither perfect nor awful, she is just a human being. Right now, she is full of fear and humility and wants so bad to stay sober. She's paving hell with energy and good intentions. She thought everyone would hate her when her big secret came out. She knows she did a horrible thing and she will be paying for it for a long time. But, miraculously, her friends, family, boyfriend, even co-workers are standing behind her.
I am not trying to minimize her responsibility, her past bad behavior, all the fucked up things that have happened. There's no way I could or that I would even want to. She commited a very serious offense. We will not try to allay her guilt. We will not take her bullshit anymore. Those of us who didn't know everything that was going on are thinking back and wondering how they missed it. Those of us who knew way too much about it are torn between wishing we could have helped her and knowing we couldn't fix her. Maybe, she will learn that people (like me) who she thought abandoned her, were hating the way she was acting, not hating her. Well, sometimes I did hate her. I don't have the energy to hate her or be mad at her right now. It doesn't do anything for me.
I've complained about this friend a lot. I have cut her from my friends list a couple of times over the ten years we've known each other. I know that it may take a few tries for her to get off the sauce, and handle all the stuff that comes along with it. I'm willing to give being her friend a try.
I was going to write something about lessons to be learned, friendship and how it gets all fucked around. I don't know. I'm tired. I will say, how often do you get a chance to really help someone out? And hey, I won't stop being your friend even if you may be charged with a felony or two. Really.
People have asked my why I even bother with this crisis-friend anymore, after all the shit that has gone down. I guess I was waiting for something like this to happen. I wish it hadn't, but as I posted before it could have been worse. Don't you believe in redemption? I do.
(By the way, the incident happened slightly different than they reported in the paper, let me know if you want details. For those who don't know what I'm talking about, if you're really curious e-mail me. It's not exactly a secret, but it's not what this post is really about.)
So, she is finally acknowledging her problem with alcohol. She is going for treatment. She is letting us tell her that she is neither perfect nor awful, she is just a human being. Right now, she is full of fear and humility and wants so bad to stay sober. She's paving hell with energy and good intentions. She thought everyone would hate her when her big secret came out. She knows she did a horrible thing and she will be paying for it for a long time. But, miraculously, her friends, family, boyfriend, even co-workers are standing behind her.
I am not trying to minimize her responsibility, her past bad behavior, all the fucked up things that have happened. There's no way I could or that I would even want to. She commited a very serious offense. We will not try to allay her guilt. We will not take her bullshit anymore. Those of us who didn't know everything that was going on are thinking back and wondering how they missed it. Those of us who knew way too much about it are torn between wishing we could have helped her and knowing we couldn't fix her. Maybe, she will learn that people (like me) who she thought abandoned her, were hating the way she was acting, not hating her. Well, sometimes I did hate her. I don't have the energy to hate her or be mad at her right now. It doesn't do anything for me.
I've complained about this friend a lot. I have cut her from my friends list a couple of times over the ten years we've known each other. I know that it may take a few tries for her to get off the sauce, and handle all the stuff that comes along with it. I'm willing to give being her friend a try.
I was going to write something about lessons to be learned, friendship and how it gets all fucked around. I don't know. I'm tired. I will say, how often do you get a chance to really help someone out? And hey, I won't stop being your friend even if you may be charged with a felony or two. Really.
Monday, July 17
Oh, no. I like my job.
The people are pretty ok. No, no, kids, they'll never replace you. But I think you'd like them too. Well, mostly.
The pay is low, like sad low. I think it may become boring in the next three to four weeks. But it keeps me busy.
The pay is low, like sad low. I think it may become boring in the next three to four weeks. But it keeps me busy.
Sunday, July 16
It's been a fine weekend, hasn't it?
The Potter Barn catalog was a good read as always. Not as riveting as Garnet Hill or Levenger, but good. Tomorrow I go to my regular schedule at work.
Saturday, July 15
Aridity
I've decided that 'aridity' is the word for today. Doesn't it seem to fit? Sure it's humid outside but whatever.
Today I've read many dozens of pages of The Island of the Day Before. Regular readers may recall that I've had this book for months and months. I have an excuse for my slowness: I haven't been reading much lately, haven't finished a magazine cover to cover, while I used to be a two-books-a-week kind of girl. I have begun to read more again.But I have a headache now and I'm going to read the Pottery Barn catalog instead. I'm going from, "Oh, god, what the hell is he talking about?", to "Oh, god, I really want that couch."
Today I've read many dozens of pages of The Island of the Day Before. Regular readers may recall that I've had this book for months and months. I have an excuse for my slowness: I haven't been reading much lately, haven't finished a magazine cover to cover, while I used to be a two-books-a-week kind of girl. I have begun to read more again.But I have a headache now and I'm going to read the Pottery Barn catalog instead. I'm going from, "Oh, god, what the hell is he talking about?", to "Oh, god, I really want that couch."
Happy Birthday, Dear Blog.
Yes, yes, one year ago today, Jerrry the Turtle (the blog, not the turtle) came into being. Ah, the halcyon days of youth. Here's some of my favorites... ah nah, I don't feel like going back and rereading all that stuff. It's too fucking hot.
Blogging has had its ups and downs, times when I took a break, other crap. I've met some really wonderful people and I'm glad to know you all. I hope I can also continue use this blog to keep in touch with my former co-workers, who are each wonderful in their respective wonderfulness.
I went walking this morning, thinking to enjoy the day before it became awful and sweltering. I only made it about half a mile. The geese were sitting in the shade and weren't happy to have me walk by; I was going to find another route, when I realized my water bottle was already empty. So home I went, then off for a couple of errands. I tried walking at the mall, too goddamn crowded. Fucking Saturdays.
So now, though I can see the sky is a pure blue and the sun is pure too and everything looks lovely through my window, gentle breeze and all, I will spend most of today inside with the AC on, watching TV, maybe even reading.
Blogging has had its ups and downs, times when I took a break, other crap. I've met some really wonderful people and I'm glad to know you all. I hope I can also continue use this blog to keep in touch with my former co-workers, who are each wonderful in their respective wonderfulness.
I went walking this morning, thinking to enjoy the day before it became awful and sweltering. I only made it about half a mile. The geese were sitting in the shade and weren't happy to have me walk by; I was going to find another route, when I realized my water bottle was already empty. So home I went, then off for a couple of errands. I tried walking at the mall, too goddamn crowded. Fucking Saturdays.
So now, though I can see the sky is a pure blue and the sun is pure too and everything looks lovely through my window, gentle breeze and all, I will spend most of today inside with the AC on, watching TV, maybe even reading.
Thursday, July 13
Something happened that was probably inevitable.
I've heard that addicts sometimes need to hit bottom before they can see that they need help. A friend of mine has been trying to find her lowest point for quite some time now. Hopefully this is it. I don't know how much worse it can get. No one is dead at least. And the commenters on our local paper's website find the incident quite humorous. So that's good.
Tuesday, July 11
Per G. Herbach e-mail, "Lit 6 Project Summer RAMPS UP"
Here's the bestest part:
Aw, we miss you too. Anybody want to go to the July 29th show with me? Also, if you plan on attending the July 11th show, we need to set some ground rules regarding heckling.
August 11th! Steph Wilbur Ash's Lit Sixtitute Class (Women who Write about Women who do F-ed up Stuff) performs at the Ritz Theater Backroom. They have a whole incredibly wild reading getting shaped. Joined by the mega-girl-group Ear Candy. This show will blow your mind. All women. All pain. Incredible. YEAH!!!! 6 p.m.Also, less me-intensive, but still potentially interesting...
July 23rd! Have you ever seen Project Runway? Whacked out designers get an assignment to make some crazy clothes, work with some guidance all day, show their creations at the end? How about Lit 6 Project Runway? On July 23rd we will meet with all comers at 9 a.m. at our offices (711 W. Lake, #307), give a prompt and let the writing begin.
This is a guerilla workshop. Together we will write themed pieces for performance (at the Nomad World Pub, 6 p.m.) that same day! We will go into character, dialogue, setting and performance. We will provide food, encouragement and libation. We will bring it that night! Have some music you want to do with it? Have some theme related clothes you want to make? Let's do it. The show will be recorded and broadcast. This will be an amazing day. $50 for the whole thing (includes food and drink and instruction). Go to lit6project.com/lit6store.htm to sign up. We cannot wait (if you can't make the class, come see what we've all done at the Nomad).
July 29th! The Lit 6 Project and Creative Electric Studios present the only brand new Electric Arc Radio Show of the summer! "A Midsummer's Night Sausage." Members of the Lit 6 house are feeling… inauthentic. After a harrowing game of "Hot Peas and Butter" (google it), we are launched into a heat related hallucination that ends with the most amazing breakfast ever. You must see it to believe it. BRYANT LAKE BOWL. LATE NIGHT. 10 P.M. Get your tickets now (612-825-8949 for advance) $8, $10 night of the show. God, we can't
wait.
........
SEPTEMBER 2ND ELECTRIC ARC FALL SEASON BEGINS! Special Musical Guests. Huge stories. Get your tickets now for THE RITZ!
We love you so much. We just miss you.
Aw, we miss you too. Anybody want to go to the July 29th show with me? Also, if you plan on attending the July 11th show, we need to set some ground rules regarding heckling.
Dress code, bless code, lovely lovely mess code
I was assessing the contents of my closet, because my new job has a "business casual, emphasis on business" dress code. I was pleasantly surprised by what I already have. To wit: 8 button-up shirts (various colors, fits, sleeve lengths), 7 cardigans (again, a variety. but clearly I am in a fashion rut), 4 pairs of dress pants, 5 skirts... fuck, do I own a dress?! No, I don't own a dress. I own three dresses. They are sort of old as you may have guessed from the fact that I forgot about them. Not quite the first stare of fashion, one might say, if one lived in England in the early 19th century.
Clearly it's time to embark on the next leg of the getting-rid-of-shit journey. But that will have to wait for the weekend. I have alarms to set, procedures to remember, scenes to rewrite... shit ...shit, monologue...
shit., shit.. How did I get that bruise? If you were named Harriet and could be described by the non-word "fridgmental", how would you have gotten that bruise? I think Harriet has a big bruise on her arm -- wait, did some psycho drunk girl bite her arm at a biker bar? No, I can come up with something better than that... although I can imagine just the kind of hissy fit she would have. I can imagine it quite well, actually. Hmm. Almost as though it really happened, like to someone I know. Or am.
One quirk of the new job's dress code -- or maybe it just seems weird compared to other places I've worked -- is that socks or hose are always required. What do you do with cropped pants? Skirts in spring or summer? Can't wear tights. Hose looks dumb, doesn't it? Well, today I saw a handful of women wearing knee-highs with sandals and capris. The tops of the knee highs were not visible, rest assured. It didn't look as horrible as I thought it would. I hope it's not one of those things you become accustomed to, and you start to think it's acceptable everywhere and you think it looks fine and wonder why people are snickering when you walk by. Maybe I should just buy a few pairs of argyle knee socks to wear with everything.
Monday, July 10
Time to let go of any pretensions I may have toward omniscience!
Like I didn't know that already. But it never hurts to be reminded. I'm not going to argue if you think astrology is a load of bunkum, or if you do believe in it but scorn these sort of generic forecasts. Sometimes I use them to sort of refocus, look at things in a new way.
Daily work (by Astrology.com)
Events are somewhat beyond your control right now, but they're not going anywhere you can't handle. Try to just relax and let go of any pretensions you may have toward omniscience. -
Daily flirt (by Astrology.com)
Life is good, even though you can't see everything that's happening or figure out how to deal with it all. Let it roll over you, and you'll be back on top of things in a few days.
Daily work (by Astrology.com)
Events are somewhat beyond your control right now, but they're not going anywhere you can't handle. Try to just relax and let go of any pretensions you may have toward omniscience. -
Daily flirt (by Astrology.com)
Life is good, even though you can't see everything that's happening or figure out how to deal with it all. Let it roll over you, and you'll be back on top of things in a few days.
Sunday, July 9
My weekend: It was fine, thanks.
I went to my high school reunion. We basically went to O'Leary's Pub on Friday night, then the VFW Saturday night. We did a class picture across the street from the VFW, on a sort of grassy knoll. Then we adjourned to another bar. Actually, the organizers wanted us all to meet up at some place in WF, Border Town I think? We went to Playmaker's instead, a select group, the creme de la creme. A woman at the reunion said something really beautiful. I mentioned that people seemed willing and even happy to talk to people they didn't really know in high school, we weren't all trying to impress each other, it was a very nice vibe (although there were a couple of exceptions). I said we've all changed. She said "It's called humility." True that, Heather. True that.
Then I came back to St C today and had a little cookout with a few college friends. It was good too.
I was going to write a bunch more, about the nature of friendship and assorted other bullshit, but it's nothing you haven't heard. I hope you all have a good week.
Then I came back to St C today and had a little cookout with a few college friends. It was good too.
I was going to write a bunch more, about the nature of friendship and assorted other bullshit, but it's nothing you haven't heard. I hope you all have a good week.
Thursday, July 6
Two quotes from Google's quote of the day:
"You've got to take the bitter with the sour."
- Samuel Goldwyn
- Samuel Goldwyn
"There is nobody so irritating as somebody with less intelligence and more sense than we have."
- Don Herold
- Don Herold
Friday, June 30
Eye yam sofa king tie red
Traffic on I94 going west was completely psycho this afternoon, of course. Any idiot could tell you it's a holiday weekend and it's going to be crowded, but I'm not just any idiot. I thought getting going at 2 pm would be early enough. It was worth sweltering in the car a little as I sat idling in traffic: Good class last night, good drinks and conversation and music afterwards, lunch and talking with Rhonda today. (And browsing the Smitten Kitten. LOL! I never knew how many varieties of "C & B separators" there really are.) Now I'm going to hang out in the sweet sweet air conditioning and have a beer. Then a nap. Yes, I'm lazy and I don't care who knows it.
Tuesday, June 27
Very exciting shopping expedition
Today I was in one of those moods where I feel great and have lots of energy but I shouldn't have credit cards with me; I was reading a home decorating magazine; and I was a little bored. A deadly combination. Fortunately I exercised my brilliance at Goodwill instead of the mall. When I start buying furniture and art because it makes me laugh, it could turn out beautiful or well, laughable. I'm betting on the middle ground.
I picked up a few shelves and frames. Then I saw the green office chair and the side table with the mucked up finish - 99 cents a piece. Inspiration and cheapness combined. Then, then, then, guess what?! A huuuge painting, a seascape. It's as long as the couch, and above the couch it shall go. I was quite thrilled to see it, and it was a mere $3.99. That's like... a penny a square inch or maybe less, and of course it is also very beautiful art.
Twenty dollars and nine cents later, I crammed all this junk into my car. Then I hauled it up to my apartment. Now I am wondering how best to arrange my new loot. The green chair is nice and comfy.
I picked up a few shelves and frames. Then I saw the green office chair and the side table with the mucked up finish - 99 cents a piece. Inspiration and cheapness combined. Then, then, then, guess what?! A huuuge painting, a seascape. It's as long as the couch, and above the couch it shall go. I was quite thrilled to see it, and it was a mere $3.99. That's like... a penny a square inch or maybe less, and of course it is also very beautiful art.
Twenty dollars and nine cents later, I crammed all this junk into my car. Then I hauled it up to my apartment. Now I am wondering how best to arrange my new loot. The green chair is nice and comfy.
Saturday, June 24
Awesome.
There was just a blast of thunder so loud it set off a car alarm in my building's parking lot. That is cool. But that asshole better shut off that alarm right quick.
Why do I blog again? Plus: Do me a favor
I like the comments, but that's not why I got started in this business, dammit! Lately, I've been like, ok, if there's no response, why post? To say there is no response is not entirely fair, I guess. But really, the reason I blog is not to attract readers so much, as to skim off a few of the many thoughts in my head. Instead of getting all excited about a book or newsitem or magazine article and e-mailing about it to my exquisitely disinterested friends and acquaintance, I just post up. Or if something's distracting or annoying me, just write about how dumb it is and be done with it.
Another blogger compared blogging to that thing in Harry Potter, the bowl Dumbledore uses to literally collect his thoughts.Ooh, I remember now: it's called the Pensieve. He would stir them up to juxtapose some things, look at them from another angle, or when too many thoughts are racing through his brain. This is the closest I'll get to a magical thought collecting bowl.
Here's the favor request mentioned in the headline: Post a quick comment if you read this. Especially if you haven't commented in a long time. I'd like to see who's out there. If you want to put why you read this, or why you don't read it very often, that would be swell too. "Hi" or "you suck" would be acceptable comments, I really don't care.
Another blogger compared blogging to that thing in Harry Potter, the bowl Dumbledore uses to literally collect his thoughts.Ooh, I remember now: it's called the Pensieve. He would stir them up to juxtapose some things, look at them from another angle, or when too many thoughts are racing through his brain. This is the closest I'll get to a magical thought collecting bowl.
Here's the favor request mentioned in the headline: Post a quick comment if you read this. Especially if you haven't commented in a long time. I'd like to see who's out there. If you want to put why you read this, or why you don't read it very often, that would be swell too. "Hi" or "you suck" would be acceptable comments, I really don't care.
Friday, June 23
Writing from prompts
Here's something I came up with from the first week of class. We had four objects for inspiration: a Darth Vader mask, empty pack of cigarettes, toy soldier in jeep, empty film canister. I started writing this after class, I think. It doesn't fit thematically with the class, so I thought I'd post it here. Normally I'd be embarrassed, but I realize that all seven people who read this blog from time to time really don't care what I post. I think the punctuation is pretty fucked up and I bet I made at least one mistake with the tense.
Ryan just got back from Iraq. He is downtown at 2 a.m., walking down St. Germain street. He's been partying and hanging out with his buddies all weekend. St. Germain at bar close is a zoo, just like he remembers. Cops walking around, girls screaming and giggling, everybody making their next plans. Ryan thinks about the film he packed in his suitcase. He wonders if the film was ruined when the luggage was x-rayed at the airport. He hopes it was.
Last night, the guys stayed up all night watching the original Star Wars trilogy. Actually Ryan was the only one who made it through the whole night awake, but it didn't matter. They trudged to Perkins for breakfast at 7 then crashed in Toby's living room for a couple of hours.
Ryan lists the bars they hit last night, goes through them chronologically. The Carpet, the Press, MC's, DB's, McRudy's, the Press again so Jake could check if that hot girl was still there. No dice.
Ryan sleeps with a gun under his bed now. He couldn't do that at Toby's, he had to settle for knowing that it was locked in his glove box, and he checked on it a couple of times during the night. He told the guys he was outside smoking, which he was, but he also needed to check on the gun. The first few days after coming home he kept it under his pillow, but his wife talked him out of it. First he moved it to the bedside table then under the bed in a small box. Compromise is the key to a successful marriage, he thinks, as he walks with his friends.
Buddy turns his head, looks at Ryan with a raised eyebrow. Ryan realized he had muttered the words out loud and he laughed his new laugh -- the harsh mirthless laugh his mom hated.
"Any more beer at your house?" Ryan asks Toby.
"Yeah, I think so. Dunno. I guess the liquor store is closed, huh?"
Toby was a dumb drunk. Some of Ryan's friends get mean, angry, sad, hilarious or extra horny when they drank. Toby tends to get stupid. Lock his keys in the trunk of the car, call ex-girlfriends, wander away so Jake or Buddy or somebody who gives a shit has to track him down.
Four girls - no, five, there's always a plain one in the back, hiding -- giggling as one, eyeball the guys. They are walking across the street from the men, at the same pace, as though it was on purpose. The second prettiest yells an invitation to an after-bar party eight blocks away.
Steve says "Fuck that," in a voice that only his buddies could hear, and "Sorry, ladies, maybe next time," in his loud clear voice.
Steve pulls out his keys and jingles them in Buddy's face. Buddy bats his hand away. Steve volunteered to be sober cab, and he did pretty good, only drinking three beers and two shots. They are a block from the car now. They pass Mexican Village. Toby starts belting out the old ad jingle for another Mexican restaurant he knows from his hometown. "Chips are free, dinner extra. Chips are free, dinner extra!" The guys laugh. Ryan sees one of the girls across the street wrinkle up her nose.
They reach the car. The guys climb in. Ryan knows Shelly thought he would be home tonight. She is going to shit a brick when I get home tomorrow, red eyed and sullen, he thinks. He laughs again and lights his last Marlboro. The boys climb into the car and are silent.
Ryan just got back from Iraq. He is downtown at 2 a.m., walking down St. Germain street. He's been partying and hanging out with his buddies all weekend. St. Germain at bar close is a zoo, just like he remembers. Cops walking around, girls screaming and giggling, everybody making their next plans. Ryan thinks about the film he packed in his suitcase. He wonders if the film was ruined when the luggage was x-rayed at the airport. He hopes it was.
Last night, the guys stayed up all night watching the original Star Wars trilogy. Actually Ryan was the only one who made it through the whole night awake, but it didn't matter. They trudged to Perkins for breakfast at 7 then crashed in Toby's living room for a couple of hours.
Ryan lists the bars they hit last night, goes through them chronologically. The Carpet, the Press, MC's, DB's, McRudy's, the Press again so Jake could check if that hot girl was still there. No dice.
Ryan sleeps with a gun under his bed now. He couldn't do that at Toby's, he had to settle for knowing that it was locked in his glove box, and he checked on it a couple of times during the night. He told the guys he was outside smoking, which he was, but he also needed to check on the gun. The first few days after coming home he kept it under his pillow, but his wife talked him out of it. First he moved it to the bedside table then under the bed in a small box. Compromise is the key to a successful marriage, he thinks, as he walks with his friends.
Buddy turns his head, looks at Ryan with a raised eyebrow. Ryan realized he had muttered the words out loud and he laughed his new laugh -- the harsh mirthless laugh his mom hated.
"Any more beer at your house?" Ryan asks Toby.
"Yeah, I think so. Dunno. I guess the liquor store is closed, huh?"
Toby was a dumb drunk. Some of Ryan's friends get mean, angry, sad, hilarious or extra horny when they drank. Toby tends to get stupid. Lock his keys in the trunk of the car, call ex-girlfriends, wander away so Jake or Buddy or somebody who gives a shit has to track him down.
Four girls - no, five, there's always a plain one in the back, hiding -- giggling as one, eyeball the guys. They are walking across the street from the men, at the same pace, as though it was on purpose. The second prettiest yells an invitation to an after-bar party eight blocks away.
Steve says "Fuck that," in a voice that only his buddies could hear, and "Sorry, ladies, maybe next time," in his loud clear voice.
Steve pulls out his keys and jingles them in Buddy's face. Buddy bats his hand away. Steve volunteered to be sober cab, and he did pretty good, only drinking three beers and two shots. They are a block from the car now. They pass Mexican Village. Toby starts belting out the old ad jingle for another Mexican restaurant he knows from his hometown. "Chips are free, dinner extra. Chips are free, dinner extra!" The guys laugh. Ryan sees one of the girls across the street wrinkle up her nose.
They reach the car. The guys climb in. Ryan knows Shelly thought he would be home tonight. She is going to shit a brick when I get home tomorrow, red eyed and sullen, he thinks. He laughs again and lights his last Marlboro. The boys climb into the car and are silent.
Here's how Friday looks at sunrise
I don't have a picture or anything, but I can describe it for ya. It looks pretty good. Lots of pretty colors and that sunrise feeling in the air. The sunrise started at like 4:40 or some crazy shit like that. I love this time of year, but it goes by so quick. The days are getting shorter. Soon it will be nasty old buggy August.
For the past few days, I haven't been able to sleep for more than three hours at a stretch. This can be inconvenient, but I have been trying to use my extra time to get things done. Sadly, I'm even more addled than usual, which fact makes each item on my to-do list take an unreasonable amount of time; the same can be said for everyday tasks. I don't like it. I am so glad that Heidi was taking such excellent notes at class last night, because between the wine and the sleep deprivation, I don't know how I could remember all the awesome shit we talked about. Don't worry, I drove safely; time and caffeine are my friends.
For the past few days, I haven't been able to sleep for more than three hours at a stretch. This can be inconvenient, but I have been trying to use my extra time to get things done. Sadly, I'm even more addled than usual, which fact makes each item on my to-do list take an unreasonable amount of time; the same can be said for everyday tasks. I don't like it. I am so glad that Heidi was taking such excellent notes at class last night, because between the wine and the sleep deprivation, I don't know how I could remember all the awesome shit we talked about. Don't worry, I drove safely; time and caffeine are my friends.
Thursday, June 22
Spiffing up the old apartment
Because I signed a new lease, my apartment management has been so kind as to install some lovely new stuff. A new microhood (microwave/exhaust hood combination, if you weren't familiar with the term), and new light fixtures. I had a list of improvements to choose from, including being allowed to paint an accent wall in the living- or bedroom and new kitchen countertops and sink. I went with the microhood because my current microwave has to be about twenty years old and is probably leaking microwaves that are poisoning my brain. Undoubtedly it is so. The light fixtures are no big deal to me, but the examples they showed me were pretty.
Actually, the installation hasn't been completed yet. I came home yesterday afternoon to find an electrician wiring a new outlet and drilling a series of alarmingly perfect circles in the ceiling. The microwave should be installed sometime today, hopefully not too early in the day so I can get the hell out while they do the work. Don't know when the light fixtures will be done, maybe today as well.
The new stuff will surely class up the joint, making my hodgepodge of furniture, bare walls, and cluttered tables look even more unsightly in comparison. I can live with that, or I can take this opportunity to improve the conditions even more. Eh, I can live with it the way it is now. But a friend of mine recently did some fairly significant redecorating and of course I thought, hey, I could do that. Then again, why spend the money when I have enough stuff already? I'm of two minds about the whole thing. I'm of two minds about most things.
Instead of considering what color scheme I have and whether I would like a different one, I'd rather expound on How Our Chosen Settings/Environments Affect Us. This has been a matter of some tension between my mom and me in the past. She contends I would be much happier with tidiness and rational ordering of my possesions. I have disagreed vehemently since I was four (when I was four, I knew my own mind; what happened to that certainty?). I don't want a total mess, but my idea of what constitutes a total mess is very different from other people's, I know. I have to be honest and say, if I didn't have people over every so often to inspire me to shift around or discard most of the clutter before they arrive, my home might be more of a miserable hovel than some people might already find it to be.
Colors also affect me. I never pick bold colors for things I will see everyday (unless it is a particularly good bargain) because I figure I will grow sick unto death from looking at it every day. Rose print in the kitchen? Bright purple flokati rug? Check and check, mistake and mistake. Not terrible mistakes though. I like to feel cozy and safe at home. My computer desk is sort of in a little triangle, between a nice squashy chair, an old gramophone cabinet and an unadorned wall. It's a little pod of space that is nice to sit in even when I'm not using the computer, even though there are more comfortable chairs (nice squashy chairs) very very near.
Actually, the installation hasn't been completed yet. I came home yesterday afternoon to find an electrician wiring a new outlet and drilling a series of alarmingly perfect circles in the ceiling. The microwave should be installed sometime today, hopefully not too early in the day so I can get the hell out while they do the work. Don't know when the light fixtures will be done, maybe today as well.
The new stuff will surely class up the joint, making my hodgepodge of furniture, bare walls, and cluttered tables look even more unsightly in comparison. I can live with that, or I can take this opportunity to improve the conditions even more. Eh, I can live with it the way it is now. But a friend of mine recently did some fairly significant redecorating and of course I thought, hey, I could do that. Then again, why spend the money when I have enough stuff already? I'm of two minds about the whole thing. I'm of two minds about most things.
Instead of considering what color scheme I have and whether I would like a different one, I'd rather expound on How Our Chosen Settings/Environments Affect Us. This has been a matter of some tension between my mom and me in the past. She contends I would be much happier with tidiness and rational ordering of my possesions. I have disagreed vehemently since I was four (when I was four, I knew my own mind; what happened to that certainty?). I don't want a total mess, but my idea of what constitutes a total mess is very different from other people's, I know. I have to be honest and say, if I didn't have people over every so often to inspire me to shift around or discard most of the clutter before they arrive, my home might be more of a miserable hovel than some people might already find it to be.
Colors also affect me. I never pick bold colors for things I will see everyday (unless it is a particularly good bargain) because I figure I will grow sick unto death from looking at it every day. Rose print in the kitchen? Bright purple flokati rug? Check and check, mistake and mistake. Not terrible mistakes though. I like to feel cozy and safe at home. My computer desk is sort of in a little triangle, between a nice squashy chair, an old gramophone cabinet and an unadorned wall. It's a little pod of space that is nice to sit in even when I'm not using the computer, even though there are more comfortable chairs (nice squashy chairs) very very near.
Wednesday, June 21
Does anybody out there watch Lost on ABC?
Anybody? Is it good? I'm trying to watch it now, but I can't get into it. Am I missing out? Should I try sudoko puzzles or something else to fill my time?
So. Eh. Yeah. Ya know.
So I'm writing this stuff, or trying to write it, and it's not been easy. I have a few paragraphs here and there, and I don't see how to stitch it all together. I think they say you should write what you know, but I am sick of what I know. I also can't write what I don't know. Some people can do that, but they must make it of pieces of what they do know to do it. Besides, sometimes you don't really know what you know, or you know but you don't want to know, you know? Ha ha, I repeated a word a lot.
Ok, freewriting, right? Who cares, whatever, I don't care. Just put some shit on the page. Do what works to get it on the page, because you decided you wanted to pick up this little hobby, remember? Silly goose. Right now I am sitting in front of the computer, with a notebook in my lap, alternating between typing and scribbling, then pacing my little circuit from desk to front door, through kitchen, past couch and back to desk.
**also, I can't get my pens to write on this fucking notebook paper. I have three new pens, different kinds, but all with the smooth black ink I like, and two of them are skipping and the other one keeps acting like it's going to go dry. I'm going to Target.
Do you have a pen preference? Gel ink, ball point, pink ink? Or are you more the pencil type?
Ok, freewriting, right? Who cares, whatever, I don't care. Just put some shit on the page. Do what works to get it on the page, because you decided you wanted to pick up this little hobby, remember? Silly goose. Right now I am sitting in front of the computer, with a notebook in my lap, alternating between typing and scribbling, then pacing my little circuit from desk to front door, through kitchen, past couch and back to desk.
**also, I can't get my pens to write on this fucking notebook paper. I have three new pens, different kinds, but all with the smooth black ink I like, and two of them are skipping and the other one keeps acting like it's going to go dry. I'm going to Target.
Do you have a pen preference? Gel ink, ball point, pink ink? Or are you more the pencil type?
Monday, June 19
Would you do it?
Eleven relatives had their stomachs removed when genetic testing revealed they all had a 70% chance of getting stomach cancer. I would do it, for such a nasty disease and such a high risk.And if ten of my cousins join me, we could have a family party before the surgery too. That would be so excellent.
Six family members who had the gene decided not to get the surgery.
Six family members who had the gene decided not to get the surgery.
Thursday, June 15
I wish we would have had some of these things at my last job.
Are you a bad customer?
According to this article, some companies are identifying problem customers and shunting them to the back of the customer service phone queue.
"Fidelity Investments took this approach several years ago to customers who were tying up their phone representatives, including one client who called thousands of times a year. Fidelity then focused on teaching these folks how to use the company’s Web site and automated phone systems."
Uh, can anybody think of a couple of damaged individuals who earned this treatment? Not sure how well it would have worked for us, but it's nice to dream.
Some companies are disallowing returns from customers who abuse their policies. Others track people who eat up staff time with crank complaints and other crap and remove them from mailing lists for sales and promotions.
. (Side note on my shopping habits: I return a lot of stuff, mostly to Target; basically I like to have the power to change my mind about a purchase. But I buy a lot more than I return, I always have a reciept, and I'm always polite. So they can't get too mad at me.)
I think it's a good idea for companies to start in this direction. It could always go wrong, invading privacy or causing embarassment, but I think this is one of those things where the market will correct itself if they overdo it. It's an interesting thing, when companies don't just say, let's get as many customers as we can, or let's target this certain segment, but let's figure out which of these customers are actually costing us money, or bring in so little, they just aren't worth it. Of course, if you are a total asshole but a big spender, you are still welcome. That part makes me sad. But that is what karma is for, yeah?
The article also gives tips to help consumers avoid the shitlists of their favorite companies.
My two favorites:
Don't be a jerk.
If you don’t like the return policy, shop somewhere else.
According to this article, some companies are identifying problem customers and shunting them to the back of the customer service phone queue.
"Fidelity Investments took this approach several years ago to customers who were tying up their phone representatives, including one client who called thousands of times a year. Fidelity then focused on teaching these folks how to use the company’s Web site and automated phone systems."
Uh, can anybody think of a couple of damaged individuals who earned this treatment? Not sure how well it would have worked for us, but it's nice to dream.
Some companies are disallowing returns from customers who abuse their policies. Others track people who eat up staff time with crank complaints and other crap and remove them from mailing lists for sales and promotions.
. (Side note on my shopping habits: I return a lot of stuff, mostly to Target; basically I like to have the power to change my mind about a purchase. But I buy a lot more than I return, I always have a reciept, and I'm always polite. So they can't get too mad at me.)
I think it's a good idea for companies to start in this direction. It could always go wrong, invading privacy or causing embarassment, but I think this is one of those things where the market will correct itself if they overdo it. It's an interesting thing, when companies don't just say, let's get as many customers as we can, or let's target this certain segment, but let's figure out which of these customers are actually costing us money, or bring in so little, they just aren't worth it. Of course, if you are a total asshole but a big spender, you are still welcome. That part makes me sad. But that is what karma is for, yeah?
The article also gives tips to help consumers avoid the shitlists of their favorite companies.
My two favorites:
Don't be a jerk.
If you don’t like the return policy, shop somewhere else.
Wednesday, June 14
I know it's surprising,
but sometimes Dr Phil has good advice. I'm sure he didn't come up with this phrase, but here it is: If you do what you've always done, you're going to get what you always got.
Tuesday, June 13
project 1
uhhh.
casting, ejection, expulsion, fling, flinging, heave, heaving, hurl, hurling, launching, lob, lobbing, pitch, pitching, projection, propulsion, shooting, sling, slinging, thrust, thrusting, toss, tossing
container, bin, carton, case, casket, chest, coffer, crate, pack, package, portmanteau, receptacle, trunk
abandon, abdicate, abjure, adios, banish, cancel, cashier, cast aside, chuck, deep-six, desert, dispatch, dispense with, dispose of, dispossess, ditch, divorce, drop, dump, eject, eliminate, expel, forsake, free of, give up, jettison, junk, oust, part with, protest, put by, reject, relinquish, remove, renounce, repeal, repudiate, scrap, shake off, shed, sweep away, throw away, throw out, throw overboard, toss, toss aside, write off
Here's what this picture prompts me to ask: Why did I save half a pair of glasses? Why didn't I get that film developed? Do I even have a cassette player anymore? Do women wear hair ribbons? You only see them on little girls.
Monday, June 12
I've been thinking about what I want from a new job.
Let's see. I don't know. I guess I want decent pay and hours, work that is not soul-crushing, people and an environment that is pleasant.Inexpensive health insurance, good parking, a short commute. If I wanted to get all fancy, I'd say I wanted to do something something fulfilling; mentally, socially or creatively fulfilling.Lucas just made a big, brave career change, and it sounds awesome.
I feel crappy today.
Sunburn, fever, cough, sore throat. And I got spyware on my computer I guess. But other than that I feel ok, I guess. Things can always be worse. I don't know why that's reassuring, but it is.
Saturday, June 10
I just took a phone survey
The guy said it would take ten to fifteen minutes, which sounded like a real pain in the ass. But he sounded nervous and a little sad. I had a survey job, for about two weeks during the summer after high school. It really really sucks to do. I know, these people choose to take that job, bothering people in their homes. But I don't need to be mean to them. So I said, ok, I'll do it. As it turns out, I didn't qualify for the survey because of some sort of age bracket thing. I hope he got some sort of credit for it anyway.
I had so many dreams last night.
There was another one about instant messaging. My friend said, "We met up at Benton Station and I decided I'm not going to accept food from people anymore. They can buy me drinks but that's it."
Early this morning, I had a dream with Steph Ash getting very upset and telling the writing class ladies, "You know, we have to pay rent on this place!"
That's how the dreams went, random as hell. Not the multi-chaptered, switching point-of-view dreams I usually recall on a big dream-remembering night. Just fragments, no closure or context.
Early this morning, I had a dream with Steph Ash getting very upset and telling the writing class ladies, "You know, we have to pay rent on this place!"
That's how the dreams went, random as hell. Not the multi-chaptered, switching point-of-view dreams I usually recall on a big dream-remembering night. Just fragments, no closure or context.
Friday, June 9
hey, baby, whatever tickles your taco
So the first writing class was tonight. It was swell. It should be an interesting summer. Nice people, nice wine, nice art down the the street. Following the directions of the Little Girl Who Will Rule Us All. She will be a benevolent dictator and there will be much breakdancing!
The last time I took a writing class, it was part of the Honors program at SCSU and I dropped it. The only other class I ever took was playwriting at Trollwood. I didn't even keep a copy of the scenes I wrote, I'm not sure why.
I was very pleasantly surprised by the ease of the drive. Next time, I'm going to go a bit early and hang out at the Falafel King before class. I bet the bathroom down the hall from the office will have working lights by the next class. Once I determined that the building was probably haunted, the dark bathroom lost any charm. If the light still isn't working, I'll just use the bathroom upstairs. That might be creepy too. Ok. I don't know.
The last time I took a writing class, it was part of the Honors program at SCSU and I dropped it. The only other class I ever took was playwriting at Trollwood. I didn't even keep a copy of the scenes I wrote, I'm not sure why.
I was very pleasantly surprised by the ease of the drive. Next time, I'm going to go a bit early and hang out at the Falafel King before class. I bet the bathroom down the hall from the office will have working lights by the next class. Once I determined that the building was probably haunted, the dark bathroom lost any charm. If the light still isn't working, I'll just use the bathroom upstairs. That might be creepy too. Ok. I don't know.
Wednesday, June 7
Hey, this is the 250th post.
That is kind of cool. I think this will be a random, melting pot, disorganized kind of post. My memory is such crap lately, I should do I quick search before I write anything new, in case I talked about it last September or something.
:When did all this stuff about inflation and the stock market start hitting the news everywhere? It's just been the past couple of days, right? Are we more doomed than usual? I am sure that we are.
:Here are some words of cheery optimism from the dour, but almost kind of hot, Fareed Zakaria.
:Wordsmith's theme this week is super awesome long words. Today's word used to be my most favoritest word, but I got over it. I don't think I ever knew what it actually meant. I thought it was something anti-government. Or pro-government. Or Constitutional maybe? And why isn't the word proestablishmentarianism instead of antidis- . The quote is good too. Creepy, but good.
and the daily quote:
:When did all this stuff about inflation and the stock market start hitting the news everywhere? It's just been the past couple of days, right? Are we more doomed than usual? I am sure that we are.
:Here are some words of cheery optimism from the dour, but almost kind of hot, Fareed Zakaria.
:Wordsmith's theme this week is super awesome long words. Today's word used to be my most favoritest word, but I got over it. I don't think I ever knew what it actually meant. I thought it was something anti-government. Or pro-government. Or Constitutional maybe? And why isn't the word proestablishmentarianism instead of antidis- . The quote is good too. Creepy, but good.
antidisestablishmentarianism, noun
(an-tee-dis-eh-stab-lish-men-TAYR-ee-uh-niz-em)
Opposition to separation of the church and state.
[From Latin anti- (against) + dis- (apart, away) + English establish, from Latin stabilire, from stare (to stand) + -arian (one who supports) + Greek-ism (practice or state).]
At 28 letters, it's the best-known example of a long word. Here's how
you can parse the word: one of the meanings of the word establishment is making a church an institution of the state. In the late 19th century England, there was a movement for the separation of the church and state: disestablishment. Those opposed to the idea of separation were antidisestablishmentarians.You can see where it's going. Why not a contraantidisestablishmentarianism?
and the daily quote:
If my decomposing carcass helps nourish the roots of a juniper tree or the wings of a vulture - that is immortality enough for me. -Edward Abbey,naturalist and author(1927-1989)
Tuesday, June 6
Ah, man.
I can't believe I wasted 6/6/6. Well, 6/6/2006 anyway. I mean, I didn't have any big satanic plans, but I didn't even think about what day it was, except in terms of bills being due and what days I work this week. Bummer.
Sunday, June 4
List of numbers thing
Tagged by Michèle
10 Favorites
Favorite Season: Spring
Favorite Color: black
Favorite Time: midnight
Favorite Food: I don't have one.
Favorite Drink: the third one. You know, when you get tipsy?
Favorite Ice Cream: chocolate something
Favorite Place: the interregnum between sleep and wakefulness
Favorite Sport: I like watching hockey for the violence.
Favorite Actor: Cary Grant
Favorite Actress: Katharine Hepburn
9 Currents
Current Feeling: groggy
Current Drink: diet coke
Current Time: 11:57 a.m.
Current Show on TV: Law & Order SVU
Current Mobile used: Virgin Mobile, $5 a month
Current Windows Open: balcony door
Current Underwear: Who knows
Current Clothes: PJs
Current Thought: eh
8 Firsts
First Nickname: Snot Nosed Brat
First Kiss: That guy
First Crush: I can't remember his name, it was kindergarten and he moved away.
First Best Friend: Christy or Stacie or Josh, not sure which came first
First Vehicle I Owned: gold 1987 Buick Somerset
First Job: selling popcorn and sno-cones at Trollwood Park in Fargo
First Date: walking around
First Pet: Scooby the wondermutt.
7 Lasts
Last Drink: diet coke
Last Kiss: eh
Last Meal: If I was about to be executed, I would choose pizza and beer and heroin for my last meal.
Last Web Site Visited: yahoo
Last Movie Watched: Woman of the Year
Last Phone Call: Erin
Last TV Watched: the X-Files, I think
6 Have You Ever...
Have You Ever Broken the Law: Yes. Yes, I have. If you tell anyone, I will kill you.
Have You Ever Been Drunk: You know I have
Have You Ever Kissed Someone You Didn't Know: yes, a couple of times.
Have You Ever Been in the Middle/Close to Gunfire: no
Have You Ever Skinny Dipped: no.
Have You Ever Broken Anyone's Heart: no
5 Things
Things You Can Hear Right Now: the fan, birdies on the balcony
Things On Your Bed: lots of clothes
Things You Ate Today: carrots and chocolate
Things You Do When You Are Bored: sleep, read, yawn, websurf
Things You Do For Comfort: Talk, sleep, pace around the living room.
4 Places You Have Been Today
I haven't been four places yet today. I mean, rooms in my apartment, I guess there are four. Sure.
3 Things On Your Desk Right Now:
1. Philosophy Falling in Love perfumed romantic body lotion: "when it comes to love you need not fall but rather surrender. surrender to the ideathat you must love yourself before you can love another."
2. monkey
3. kitchen timer
2 Choices
Salt or Pepper: pepper
Hot or Cold: cold
1 Place You Want To Visit
New York, New York
Tagged: all y'all
10 Favorites
Favorite Season: Spring
Favorite Color: black
Favorite Time: midnight
Favorite Food: I don't have one.
Favorite Drink: the third one. You know, when you get tipsy?
Favorite Ice Cream: chocolate something
Favorite Place: the interregnum between sleep and wakefulness
Favorite Sport: I like watching hockey for the violence.
Favorite Actor: Cary Grant
Favorite Actress: Katharine Hepburn
9 Currents
Current Feeling: groggy
Current Drink: diet coke
Current Time: 11:57 a.m.
Current Show on TV: Law & Order SVU
Current Mobile used: Virgin Mobile, $5 a month
Current Windows Open: balcony door
Current Underwear: Who knows
Current Clothes: PJs
Current Thought: eh
8 Firsts
First Nickname: Snot Nosed Brat
First Kiss: That guy
First Crush: I can't remember his name, it was kindergarten and he moved away.
First Best Friend: Christy or Stacie or Josh, not sure which came first
First Vehicle I Owned: gold 1987 Buick Somerset
First Job: selling popcorn and sno-cones at Trollwood Park in Fargo
First Date: walking around
First Pet: Scooby the wondermutt.
7 Lasts
Last Drink: diet coke
Last Kiss: eh
Last Meal: If I was about to be executed, I would choose pizza and beer and heroin for my last meal.
Last Web Site Visited: yahoo
Last Movie Watched: Woman of the Year
Last Phone Call: Erin
Last TV Watched: the X-Files, I think
6 Have You Ever...
Have You Ever Broken the Law: Yes. Yes, I have. If you tell anyone, I will kill you.
Have You Ever Been Drunk: You know I have
Have You Ever Kissed Someone You Didn't Know: yes, a couple of times.
Have You Ever Been in the Middle/Close to Gunfire: no
Have You Ever Skinny Dipped: no.
Have You Ever Broken Anyone's Heart: no
5 Things
Things You Can Hear Right Now: the fan, birdies on the balcony
Things On Your Bed: lots of clothes
Things You Ate Today: carrots and chocolate
Things You Do When You Are Bored: sleep, read, yawn, websurf
Things You Do For Comfort: Talk, sleep, pace around the living room.
4 Places You Have Been Today
I haven't been four places yet today. I mean, rooms in my apartment, I guess there are four. Sure.
3 Things On Your Desk Right Now:
1. Philosophy Falling in Love perfumed romantic body lotion: "when it comes to love you need not fall but rather surrender. surrender to the ideathat you must love yourself before you can love another."
2. monkey
3. kitchen timer
2 Choices
Salt or Pepper: pepper
Hot or Cold: cold
1 Place You Want To Visit
New York, New York
Tagged: all y'all
Friday, June 2
Mmmm. 2nd day at the new job
I smell like candles. My hair, my clothes. Fresh linen, juicy fruity something, that kind of nasty pumpkin one. Fragrance is our passion! In the course of my indoctrination -- that is to say, training, I have learned many fascinating tips, so if you have any questions, do let me know. You'd be surprised to learn all the potential perils of inferior candle burning technique. You could die. This lady had her candle jar explode because she didn't keep the wick trimmed to 1/8 inch, and her cat was covered in molten wax!
Besides the fabulous, stinky (in a good way) product, there's the fun of meeting new people in a new environment. Of course, I realize a candle store is not a prime spot for meeting straight, single men. I've taken consolation in talking with my new co-workers, who are a trip and a half. They are mostly much younger than I, and they talk veryveryfast. Even the ones my age and older are very excitable about things like the insolence of the cell phone kiosk dudes, and the moving of the pop machines.
If you are ever in the Crossroads Mall and feel like checking out some super-scented, New England-themed, cutesy-named candles, stop on by. Talk to me or just wave supportively on your way to Orange Julius. Please, I'm dying here.
Besides the fabulous, stinky (in a good way) product, there's the fun of meeting new people in a new environment. Of course, I realize a candle store is not a prime spot for meeting straight, single men. I've taken consolation in talking with my new co-workers, who are a trip and a half. They are mostly much younger than I, and they talk veryveryfast. Even the ones my age and older are very excitable about things like the insolence of the cell phone kiosk dudes, and the moving of the pop machines.
If you are ever in the Crossroads Mall and feel like checking out some super-scented, New England-themed, cutesy-named candles, stop on by. Talk to me or just wave supportively on your way to Orange Julius. Please, I'm dying here.
Melodramatic
Everything is going horribly, terribly wrong! My fortunes have been cast to the four winds! Whither shall I go and what exquisite torture shall I face there? O woe that ever I was born. May the gods hear my keening cries and curse those who have thwarted me. Or if they could just find that check that seems to be lost in the mail, that would be great too. Actually, let's go with the second one.
Wednesday, May 31
There's some sort of quip about this
Ever been the the Uncommon Goods website or seen their catalog? Some of their stuff, gift items mostly, is witty or adorable, some of it is repulsively witty or adorable.
A trendy item lately: baby snapsuits, or onesies if you will with little sayings. One, here, says "My mom's a fox." The other says "My dad's a geek." The second one is out of stock. What, if anything does that say about our society?
They also have this piggy bank. Is this the perfect gift for a child or what?
Tuesday, May 30
I can't sleep
I thought I would share that. I will be hurting today, bleary eyed and logey. Starting the new part-time job, doncha know. Very exciting stuff. But I guess I will take a nap before I go. Working at the mall. Never thought I'd do that again. The endless vista of opportunities that is retail...
Sunday, May 28
Happy pretty thoughts.
It seems that the planet is angry with us. Which is fine, it has ways of getting back at us and has only just started nibbling at the edges. I think we may be too strong for it, which is too bad. It can't seem to get at the right people. You know who I mean, the guys who are really pissing in Mother Earth's Wheaties. And we (they? we?) can ruin stuff really quickly, almost as fast as the ruination can be wiped out. We just start all over again, really resilient and stuff.
Tuesday, May 23
A tyrant must put on the appearance of uncommon devotion to religion. Subjects are less apprehensive of illegal treatment from a ruler whom they consider god-fearing and pious. On the other hand, they do less easily move against him, believing that he has the gods on his side. -Aristotle,philosopher (384-322 BCE)
from a word a day. again.oh, and there's this one.
We must not confuse dissent with disloyalty. -Edward R. Murrow, journalist (1908-1965)
from a word a day. again.oh, and there's this one.
We must not confuse dissent with disloyalty. -Edward R. Murrow, journalist (1908-1965)
pack up your troubles in your old kit bag and smile, smile, smile
I was reading this article on the troops coming home, how nobody understands what it is like, and once the parades and parties are over, they are left to readjust to life here. We can't understand what it's like, and we shouldn't pretend we do. Of course, everyone who knows a soldier knows their sacrifice, even if we can't understand what they went through. What little I've heard, man, it .... really really sucks. How's that for thoughtful, intelligent insight? My brother hasn't talked about it to me much. He's been back for two years, actually, seems to be doing fine. Now we just have to wait for his next deployment. It's inevitable, isn't it? If he stays in, he's going to be sent somewhere. My friend's brother has told her a lot. I don't envy her. The big difference there is that she's the big sister, and I'm the baby sister. It doesn't matter if I agreed with them going to war, which I sure as hell didn't. They are soldiers and they go where they are sent and they do what they need to do to follow their orders.
A seperate matter is the fear I feel towards our government. What's next? Iran? Syria? New Zealand? Bad times.
A seperate matter is the fear I feel towards our government. What's next? Iran? Syria? New Zealand? Bad times.
Monday, May 22
Thriftiness
thriftitude. not-spendiness. If one is a spendthrift, and wishes to become a miser, much contemplation is in order. Here are some quotes I found online.
Balzac, Honoré De
Those who spend too fast never grow rich.
Cicero, Marcus Tullius
Cannot people realize how large an income is thrift?
Cooley, Mason
Thrift is an attractive idea until you get down to specifics.
Allen, Woody
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
Austen, Jane
Business, you know, may bring money, but friendship hardly ever does.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Can anybody remember when the times were not hard and money not scarce?
Balzac, Honoré De
Those who spend too fast never grow rich.
Cicero, Marcus Tullius
Cannot people realize how large an income is thrift?
Cooley, Mason
Thrift is an attractive idea until you get down to specifics.
Allen, Woody
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
Austen, Jane
Business, you know, may bring money, but friendship hardly ever does.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Can anybody remember when the times were not hard and money not scarce?
Saturday, May 20
Here's my horoscope for today.
On MyYahoo page. It's MyYahoo, so you know it's gotta be true. No, it's just food for thought.
Quickie: Be wise enough to ask for help when you need it today -- even if it's just a hug.
Overview: Train yourself to feel compassion for all beings. After all, if you can select who you feel sympathy for, it's not compassion -- it's simply judgment wearing a disguise. Your karma will improve immensely.
So I'm needy and judgmental. Great. What's new?
I get like 5 separate horoscopes on Yahoo. Here's another one:
You've got to do your own thing right now, no matter how much it seems that others need you. They've got to figure things out on your own {emphasis mine}-- and so do you. If you have to go solo, so be it.
I hate horoscopes with typos. At least I hope it's a typo. Here's one from a weeklong forecast that expires today.
You may have less energy than usual on Tuesday and Wednesday, so plan to take it easy --
Damn. Truer words were never foretold. Unless it was like Nostradamus doing the foretelling or something. That guy was sharp.
I woke up super early this morning. Unlike a lot of you out there, morning people, people with lives, I will end up taking a three hour nap this afternoon, I am sure.
Quickie: Be wise enough to ask for help when you need it today -- even if it's just a hug.
Overview: Train yourself to feel compassion for all beings. After all, if you can select who you feel sympathy for, it's not compassion -- it's simply judgment wearing a disguise. Your karma will improve immensely.
So I'm needy and judgmental. Great. What's new?
I get like 5 separate horoscopes on Yahoo. Here's another one:
You've got to do your own thing right now, no matter how much it seems that others need you. They've got to figure things out on your own {emphasis mine}-- and so do you. If you have to go solo, so be it.
I hate horoscopes with typos. At least I hope it's a typo. Here's one from a weeklong forecast that expires today.
You may have less energy than usual on Tuesday and Wednesday, so plan to take it easy --
Damn. Truer words were never foretold. Unless it was like Nostradamus doing the foretelling or something. That guy was sharp.
I woke up super early this morning. Unlike a lot of you out there, morning people, people with lives, I will end up taking a three hour nap this afternoon, I am sure.
Friday, May 19
So we're back.
We got in late last night. Took a lot of pictures, some of mine even turned out. It's hard to tell what you are getting on that little screen on the digital camera. I had the best margarita I've ever had (didn't taste like tequila) and the worst (super strong and I was way dehydrated. Tried to fob the drink off on the boys after a couple of sips. No dice.) Doubled my money playing slots ($3.50 to $7.00!). The trip was an awful lot like
I expected it to be, in good ways and bad. I would definitely go again. There's still plenty to see. I think my favorite part was Fremont Street. The light show was ok, but seeing the old casinos and neon signs was super duper neato. I'm a bit worn down and no good excuse for it! Next time, I'll party totally out of control, I promise!
Friday, May 12
I am studying up on Las Vegas.
I am watching shows on the Travel Channel. I am learning about the mob's rise and fall in the city, the psychological tricks the casinos use to getcha, and how they catch cheaters. I have even looked at a map.
I'm not going to do much gambling. We have lists of stuff to do, especially free stuff. It's brightly lit there all the time. There are no clocks! No clocks anywhere! So the time will fly by, or it will be hellish and eternal. I think it will be both. Time will leap then gulp, then stagger and crawl.
Packing is fun. I have been told that I don't need four suitcases, because, as a woman, I require this sort of admonition.
You know how sometimes when you apply for a job it takes them for-fricking-ever to get back to you? I am hoping that is still true. I am hoping I don't get tons of call-backs next week on the resumes I've sent out. I am hoping that I'm not in a situation where I need to call a job contact back from a table at the Olympic Hall or whatever that male strip club that some girls at work told us we have to go to, but that we're definitely not going to, is called.
Tuesday, May 9
1st day job-free
First I slept in a little bit, no big surpise there. Since getting up I have written half a cover letter, cleaned half the bathroom, exercised enought to comprise one fourth of a workout, and wrote one eighth of a blog post.
I'm thinking about some different directions in life. Somebody recently told me I'm a smart girl who needs a smart girl job. :) So if there are any openings in that, if anybody's heard of a company looking for a sassy Girl Friday type, preferably with health insurance, drop me a line.
I've also been told I would make a good real estate agent. That's a thought. Or I could purse one of the many, hilariously-advertised work-at-home crapportunities offered online. Ideally I'll hit the jackpot in Las Vegas, to distract me from the job search with all the soul crushing obligations that instant, undeserved wealth can provide.
Here are some of my less-resume-friendly qualifications.
-Easily amused.
-Fascinated by fire, shiny things and network sitcoms.
-Prone to confabulation.
-Short attention span combined with inquisitive nature leads to asking "What?" a lot.
I'm thinking about some different directions in life. Somebody recently told me I'm a smart girl who needs a smart girl job. :) So if there are any openings in that, if anybody's heard of a company looking for a sassy Girl Friday type, preferably with health insurance, drop me a line.
I've also been told I would make a good real estate agent. That's a thought. Or I could purse one of the many, hilariously-advertised work-at-home crapportunities offered online. Ideally I'll hit the jackpot in Las Vegas, to distract me from the job search with all the soul crushing obligations that instant, undeserved wealth can provide.
Here are some of my less-resume-friendly qualifications.
-Easily amused.
-Fascinated by fire, shiny things and network sitcoms.
-Prone to confabulation.
-Short attention span combined with inquisitive nature leads to asking "What?" a lot.
Friday, May 5
anti-corporate social responsibility mutual fund
Finally! All the socially progressive funds were pissing me off. Advertising in Utne. Posting excellent returns. Bitches.
Since opening for business in March 2005, the fund has bought very small stakes in nearly 400 different companies and used these tiny holdings to take their fight to the business establishment. The fund has zinged the Business Roundtable for insufficient vigilance in "defending capitalism and free enterprise against efforts in Congress to confiscate business earnings and shareholder assets." Last December, it challenged Microsoft to "reverse its recently announced plan to stop using PVC plastic as a packaging material." (Here's Microsoft's announcement.) In March it told General Electric that while the fund is all for GE's "Ecomagination" initiative, the company shouldn't put itself on the record in favor of government regulations of emissions. In March, Milloy, Borelli, and a colleague made a spectacle at the annual meeting of Goldman Sachs. (They're angered that CEO Henry Paulson is a tree-hugger, and that Goldman had given land in Chile to a conservancy group.)
On the other hand, God vs. Satan: Who's the better investor?
Thursday, May 4
fun and games and contests and things
Confusing Best Buy customers!: Hey, 80 random people, let's get our blue polos and khakis and hang out at Best Buy.
Encouraging creative plagiarism: Finally! A writing contest for people that just can't seem to find the right words.
Encouraging creative plagiarism: Finally! A writing contest for people that just can't seem to find the right words.
Reading
I joined a Barnes & Noble online book discussion on Emma. So I started re-reading it, and this time I don't like it at all. Is it because it's part of an assignment? A self-assigned assignment, I guess, so maybe it's not that. Emma is my least favorite Jane Austen book anyway.
Anybody an Austen fan? I didn't think so, but on the off chance you care, pemberley.com (are the shades of Pemberley to be thus polluted?) is an awesome site.
Jane Austen quotes are so best. I think I like her so much because she seems like she'd be a good friend. A little bitchy, always witty, a thinking and feeling person. Here are some of the ones, from the books and letters I can come up with off the top of my head, so if they're not quite accurate, sue me. Ha, nobody's read this far anyway.
-"Had you behaved in a more gentlemanlike manner..."
- "Once more in this scene of dissipation and vice and I begin already to find my morals corrupted."
-"Pictures of perfection make me sick and wicked."
-"He had nothing but himself to recommend him."
-"I do not want people to be agreeable. It saves me the trouble of liking them."
-"Novels... performances having only genius, wit, and taste to recommend them."
-"I have learned to love a hyacinth."
Oh hell, I had to go and look up a few more. Nothing spectacular I guess but I like them and so there.
"You deserve a longer letter than this; but it is my unhappy fate seldom to treat people so well as they deserve."
"Your silence on the subject of our ball makes me suppose your curiosity too great for words."
"I will not say that your mulberry-trees are dead, but I am afraid they are not alive."
Anybody an Austen fan? I didn't think so, but on the off chance you care, pemberley.com (are the shades of Pemberley to be thus polluted?) is an awesome site.
Jane Austen quotes are so best. I think I like her so much because she seems like she'd be a good friend. A little bitchy, always witty, a thinking and feeling person. Here are some of the ones, from the books and letters I can come up with off the top of my head, so if they're not quite accurate, sue me. Ha, nobody's read this far anyway.
-"Had you behaved in a more gentlemanlike manner..."
- "Once more in this scene of dissipation and vice and I begin already to find my morals corrupted."
-"Pictures of perfection make me sick and wicked."
-"He had nothing but himself to recommend him."
-"I do not want people to be agreeable. It saves me the trouble of liking them."
-"Novels... performances having only genius, wit, and taste to recommend them."
-"I have learned to love a hyacinth."
Oh hell, I had to go and look up a few more. Nothing spectacular I guess but I like them and so there.
"You deserve a longer letter than this; but it is my unhappy fate seldom to treat people so well as they deserve."
"Your silence on the subject of our ball makes me suppose your curiosity too great for words."
"I will not say that your mulberry-trees are dead, but I am afraid they are not alive."
Tuesday, May 2
Play a game, be happier
Mind Habits Booster Game
In this game you click on the happy face, finding it in a sea of frowny looking people. It's supposed to train your brain to focus on the positive. But all I saw was a sea of pissed off people that I had to go through before I found the one person who was happy to see me. (Check out the happy guy in the baseball cap, I thought he was kinda cute.)
In this game you click on the happy face, finding it in a sea of frowny looking people. It's supposed to train your brain to focus on the positive. But all I saw was a sea of pissed off people that I had to go through before I found the one person who was happy to see me. (Check out the happy guy in the baseball cap, I thought he was kinda cute.)
Sunday, April 30
I think it would suck to have this
'They call it hyperthymestic syndrome, based on the Greek word thymesis for "remembering" and hyper, meaning "more than normal.'
What would it be like to remember everything? The woman in this article is anonymous, but they describe her a little bit. She's described as normally functioning, not like a savant who can memorize a dictionary but can't live on her own, can't take care of herself.
I have a poor memory at times, but I don't mind. It sounds like she can't forget. Wouldn't it be better if things faded with time?
What would it be like to remember everything? The woman in this article is anonymous, but they describe her a little bit. She's described as normally functioning, not like a savant who can memorize a dictionary but can't live on her own, can't take care of herself.
I have a poor memory at times, but I don't mind. It sounds like she can't forget. Wouldn't it be better if things faded with time?
Friday, April 28
more clicks
http://www.hipstercards.com/
http://www.oprah.com/spiritself/ss_landing.jhtml
http://www.uncommongoods.com/
http://www.lofiliving.com/
http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/
http://www.damnhellasskings.com/
http://www.upsaid.com/eurotrash/index.php
http://www.irregulartimes.com/irregularribbons.html
http://www.bookrags.com/ebooks/968/107.html
How to do an intervention
http://www.literaturepage.com/
http://www.sciam.com/article.cfm?articleID=0001F172-55DA-1C759B81809EC588EF21&ref=sciam
http://imaginarysocialite.com/
http://www.reason.com/0512/co.mw.they.shtml (shooting at helicopters)
http://www.oprah.com/spiritself/ss_landing.jhtml
http://www.uncommongoods.com/
http://www.lofiliving.com/
http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/
http://www.damnhellasskings.com/
http://www.upsaid.com/eurotrash/index.php
http://www.irregulartimes.com/irregularribbons.html
http://www.bookrags.com/ebooks/968/107.html
How to do an intervention
http://www.literaturepage.com/
http://www.sciam.com/article.cfm?articleID=0001F172-55DA-1C759B81809EC588EF21&ref=sciam
http://imaginarysocialite.com/
http://www.reason.com/0512/co.mw.they.shtml (shooting at helicopters)
For your clicking delectation
I made this list a long time ago, so I apologize if any of the links are dead. I will prune later.
http://www.superbad.com
http://www.turnerclassicmovies.com/schedule/index/
http://www.reason.com/
http://www.wahm.com/under.html
http://www.doubletongued.org/
http://www.freestoryideas.com/
http://bunsen.tv/
http://craftster.org/
http://www.fussy.org/
http://getcrafty.com/
http://www.superbad.com
http://www.turnerclassicmovies.com/schedule/index/
http://www.reason.com/
http://www.wahm.com/under.html
http://www.doubletongued.org/
http://www.freestoryideas.com/
http://bunsen.tv/
http://craftster.org/
http://www.fussy.org/
http://getcrafty.com/
Thursday, April 27
A departure
Not, I think, what people are used to reading on this blog. So?
From Marie Claire's pages on iVillage.com. Good advice for hair, eye-roll-
inducing advice on choosing dresses. Yeah, empire waist. Fabulous idea. "So, when are you due?" Not a style that works for me, at any size. iVillage is a massive site, with ad
vice and articles ranging from useful and insightful to pathetic and demeaning. Too many pop-ups ( I know, I should just block them, but I got my reasons), and articles are cut into little pieces so you have to hit the next page button 3 times to read a 500 word article.
It's amazing how these magazines can recycle the same content over and over, with seasonal and trend changes the only variation. Indulgent recipes followed by restrictive diets. Articles about self esteem and self sufficiency followed by articles how to interpret your new hottie's boxer shorts and all the things guys love (uh, blow jobs & women who love sex are usually high on the list) and all the things that are total deal breakers (women who love sex, the dirty whores that they are).
From Marie Claire's pages on iVillage.com. Good advice for hair, eye-roll-
inducing advice on choosing dresses. Yeah, empire waist. Fabulous idea. "So, when are you due?" Not a style that works for me, at any size. iVillage is a massive site, with ad
vice and articles ranging from useful and insightful to pathetic and demeaning. Too many pop-ups ( I know, I should just block them, but I got my reasons), and articles are cut into little pieces so you have to hit the next page button 3 times to read a 500 word article.It's amazing how these magazines can recycle the same content over and over, with seasonal and trend changes the only variation. Indulgent recipes followed by restrictive diets. Articles about self esteem and self sufficiency followed by articles how to interpret your new hottie's boxer shorts and all the things guys love (uh, blow jobs & women who love sex are usually high on the list) and all the things that are total deal breakers (women who love sex, the dirty whores that they are).
Wednesday, April 26
Tuesday, April 25
The local rag
The paper has had these scattered little ads for the past couple of years, in keeping with their "Miss a day. Miss a lot." campaign.
They have questions like What are the headlines in tomorrow's St. Cloud Times? and You sold your car how?
You placed your ad how?
I carved it onto the back of a dead prostitute and dumped her outside the building at 2 a.m. Boy, were the distributors and delivery guys surprised!
They used to have a few in the classifieds that sounded potentially dirty or a little psycho. What did you have to do with who to get the job? Where did you find the shotgun hidden? Ok, those are fake, but you get the idea.
This paper has a notorious tin ear for headlines, ad campaigns, and the local columns are things of pure beauty - if you get a chance check out Rent Rants and Raves. (Can't find a permalink to these, sadly.) Am I being too harsh? I don't really care. I don't think the local media, such as it is, gets enough scrutiny. If all I'm capable of is petty mockery, then I owe it to the community to throw my two cents in.
Friday, April 21
Oh Swoon
So I fainted at work the other day. I was a little tired & I probably shouldn't have ask Doordolt so many questions about his spinal injections. It was interesting though. Fainting is kind of interesting too, as long as you don't bump your head or something. Had a weird dream, can't remember it. Usually it actually takes the site of blood for me to lose it, not just a description of a medical procedure. I looked up syncope on WebMD and called urgent care & talked to a nurse. It's not dangerous or anything, just a moral failing. They didn't say so, but I could read between the lines.
When passing out is described in books they don't get it right. Maybe for other people it's like that: Then blackness swallowed her. Then he knew no more. For me it was like waking up in the morning. Suddenly I was lying on the floor at work and D was shaking my arm. The weird things were I didn't know where I was right away, and I swear to god, I couldn't feel my arm until I saw it.
I know I'm doing well because people were giving me shit last night; for instance: my luck in avoiding the tender ministrations of certain co-workers in my vulnerable state. Thanks guys.
When passing out is described in books they don't get it right. Maybe for other people it's like that: Then blackness swallowed her. Then he knew no more. For me it was like waking up in the morning. Suddenly I was lying on the floor at work and D was shaking my arm. The weird things were I didn't know where I was right away, and I swear to god, I couldn't feel my arm until I saw it.
I know I'm doing well because people were giving me shit last night; for instance: my luck in avoiding the tender ministrations of certain co-workers in my vulnerable state. Thanks guys.
Thursday, April 20
10:01
http://www.cafezeitgeist.com/1001.html
From Utne Web Watch
Interactive Story: 10:01
By Lance Olsen and Tim Guthrie, Cafe Zeitgeist
Originally published in Punk Planet, Lance Olsen's short story "10:01" followed the mind voyeurism of Milo, an employee at a movie theater in the Mall of America who could envision the thoughts of his film-going customers. The story's been reimagined as an online multimedia piece. Visitors can navigate the narrative in a variety of ways, reading moviegoers' thoughts by clicking on their seats or jumping around a timeline. -- Nick Rose
Does it seem like something's missing?
But you can't quite put your finger on it, because it's a blog post and it only existed in electronic form anyway?
I took down the post titled "Ew ick no" or words to that effect because I couldn't stand looking at it anymore. Just in case you were wondering. I take stuff down sometimes because I find it poorly written or embarassingly personal in retrospect.
I took down the post titled "Ew ick no" or words to that effect because I couldn't stand looking at it anymore. Just in case you were wondering. I take stuff down sometimes because I find it poorly written or embarassingly personal in retrospect.
Wednesday, April 19
Tripping
Some of us are going on a 4 day bender - I mean vacation - in Las Vegas. Does anybody wish to join us? You must be clean, responsible and well behaved. Ha. Or not.
Any recommendations of what to do, what to avoid, a cheap liquor store not far from the strip? I intend to go all-out touristy. If anyone wants a postcard, send me your address, in the great tradition of Voix. Except knowing me, I won't mail them til I get back.
Any recommendations of what to do, what to avoid, a cheap liquor store not far from the strip? I intend to go all-out touristy. If anyone wants a postcard, send me your address, in the great tradition of Voix. Except knowing me, I won't mail them til I get back.
I am going to celebrate all these holidays.
Who's with me?
from the Powells.com newsletter
from the Powells.com newsletter
We think May Day gets short shrift round these parts. While it may not be a clearly defined holiday — it is, in fact, a catch-all name for an assortment of often unrelated holidays, among them International Workers' Day, the Spring Bank Holiday in the U.K., Hawaii's Lei Day, Northern Europe's Walpurgis Night (with its delicious echoes of Dracula), the Celtic Beltane, and more recently, EuroMayDay — we just think dancing around a Maypole for any reason is the best thing ever.
Monday, April 17
TV Turn Off Week is Next Week
Screw that. I hate joining stuff. I only observe Buy Nothing Day because I'm poor. Do you know how backlogged my DVR would get? Wait, how about this compromise? Maybe I will just watch shows I previously recorded. And I'll cancel all the upcoming recordings unless it's like The Office or something.
Some television programs make for fine viewing yet are roundly abused; performances having only genius, wit, and taste to recommend them. Like a super good episode of a super good show? That's double-super good, and worthy of one's time. See how that works?
Some people prefer books, and I'm a bookworm myself, but have you been to a bookstore lately? There's plenty of printed material more craptabulous than The O'Reilly Factor, Two and a Half Men, and {insert your least favorite reality show here} put together.
Some television programs make for fine viewing yet are roundly abused; performances having only genius, wit, and taste to recommend them. Like a super good episode of a super good show? That's double-super good, and worthy of one's time. See how that works?
Some people prefer books, and I'm a bookworm myself, but have you been to a bookstore lately? There's plenty of printed material more craptabulous than The O'Reilly Factor, Two and a Half Men, and {insert your least favorite reality show here} put together.
Umberto Eco. The Island of the Day Before
"... Bundles of crazed meteors offer the counter-subject to the seditious aria shattered by thundering; the sky is an alternation of remote lights and downpours of darkness; and Roberto writes that he saw foaming Alps within wanton troughs whose spume was transfromed into harvests; and Ceres blossomed amid sapphire glints, and at intervals in a cascade of roaring opals, as if her telluric daughter Persephone had taken command, exiling her plenteous mother."
Ok, I think know what seditious means but I think I am missing something in this context. I also looked up telluric. Oh, believe me when I say there's other stuff I don't get in this snip of a paragraph. Those two words are capturing my attention particularly however.
tel·lu·ric
1. Of or relating to Earth; terrestrial.
2. Derived from or containing tellurium, especially with valence 6.
But but but. It seems he's saying Persephone is telluric in contrast with Ceres. So I look up Persephone. Oh dear. Per Wikipedia, Ceries is the Roman name of the Greek goddess Demeter, and Persephone is the Greek goddess and in Roman mythology is Proserpina. Huh. Whatever. Not sure if it matters. It's just one of a pile of metaphors, images and references.
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