Jerry the Turtle

Silly updates

2011-01-25T20:50:00.000-06:00

While I am watching President Obama's State of the Union address, I thought I should update about something much much less important. And that unimportant topic is about my dating life. As you'll recall from the last post, there were three contenders.

#1 has sort of disappeared, which is a wonderful quality in a guy you don't much want to see. Nothing against him, just having a better time with the other two so far. #2 and I have been on three dates so far, all good. #3 and I have our third date coming up on Friday.

Three dates in one week

2011-01-09T02:03:00.009-06:00

I've been hyperventilating about this all week. All three were from eHarmony and all were successes. I would define a date success, especially a first date, as one that involves no major embarrassment, have a decent amount of enjoyment, and possibly leads to more of same.

First date: Monday, Applebee's. I think Applebee's was his suggestion, but it was fine with me. I'm pretty democratic or catholic or tasteless in my tastes, so I like a good chain restaurant. They're safe, consistent, friendly. He is a handful of years older than I am, divorced, two kids. It felt like he was looking at me very intently through the entire meal. He kept saying, "That's all right then," in response to things I'd say. I think I talked very much and very animatedly but "that's all right, then." I guess what I'm trying to say is that it was a little weird, a little awkward, but not awful by any means. He said he'd like to get together again next weekend, this weekend being out because he has his kids. He has nice eyes and a good smile. I had to go back to work so the date was only a little more than an hour long. We had a hurried hug as I left. He's texted me a handful of times since.

Second: Last night at Claddagh. He lives in on the east side of the Twin Cities but commutes to the west suburbs for work, so Maple Grove was sort of a good mid point. Claddagh was my suggestion, and is also a chain, but a much smaller one, with no other close locations that I know of, and an interesting menu. What does that matter? It does not matter one whit. Interesting fact: he said the only other time he'd been there was for another first date a couple of weeks ago. He was very cute, nice facial hair, funny, laughed a lot. He is just about the same age as me. We talked and ate and drank a couple of beers, for over three hours, and I would've stayed longer if I didn't have to make the drive back home. A quick kiss on the lips, then ear, after he walked me to my car. He's texted me a bunch today, which is great.

Third: Today, lunch at Granite City. He was driving an hour to meet me. I started the day off reading terrible reviews of the place and being horrified that the food would be bland and the service terrible, only to find it wasn't so bad. He liked the place fine. I wasn't wearing makeup, because I left all my makeup in the car overnight and it froze, but oh well. He was very tall, nice blue eyes, smiled a lot. Has a boyish charm that goes well with the sterling gray in his hair. He is actually 2 or 3 years younger than me, which is potentially worrisome. I liked him, he seemed to like me. We had a nice hug afterwards. I texted him a thank you afterwards and he sent back a message that said he'd "had a really good time. =)". So I'm hopeful on that front as well.

No solid plans for future dates from any of them, so it's not an embarrassment of riches quite yet. I'm thinking I may have to go to an unlimited text/internet plan, at least for a month or two, to keep up with all the texts and obsessive email checking. One of those Murphy's law type things (or is it?): If I switch plans, I bet I'll end up not needing it.

Check this out, mah frenz

2011-01-09T01:25:00.000-06:00

Facetious AND flexible? Too cool.

Cranky

2011-01-01T16:02:00.002-06:00

nap time.

O M G. Baby Skates

2010-12-16T21:16:00.000-06:00

Muttpuppy commented and I read some of her posts. Especially this one! I had this doll and I freakin loved it. I remember loving her whole costume and feeling bad when she'd fall down.

Jump break!

2010-12-15T21:23:00.002-06:00

It's possible and easy to do!

So why not do it? At least just this once.

Why so chatty, SD?

2010-12-15T18:00:00.003-06:00

I'm getting a sinus infection, I'm pretty sure. All the classic signals. Might be an ear infection. No appetite and feel sort of floaty yet down at the same time. It's nice having no appetite, I wish I felt like that more often. Of course the ear and face pain are downsides.

And my knee hurts! I think I have a bit of torn cartilage that occasionally gets in the way of normal knee workings. It happens every so often, and it's not so terrible.

I want to find something to blog about, for my own amusement, other than me, me, me. So dull. I think I'll be self indulgent and work out the me-stuff and hopefully then can look for better topics.

Mascara

2010-12-15T12:00:00.001-06:00

I purchased new mascara this fine evening. It's called "The Falsies Volum'Express" by Maybelline. On sale 40% off at Walgreens, if you're interested. A coworker said she found the results too natural looking, which is surprising based on the name and marketing of the product. She also said she was picky about such things, and looking for a certain result that this didn't supply. So perhaps I won't be entirely disappointed, in spite of having delusions of crazy, show girl lashes.

Package says: More visible lashes -- Fills in the gaps -- Instant volume (emphasis theirs) -- SPOON BRUSH -- False lash effect -- With Pro-Kera + Fibers.

Fellow bloggers....

2010-12-15T00:46:00.005-06:00

Do comment if you'd like to promote your blog here. It would likely be promoted to just me, but hey, one reader is something. I used to have a column on the side here, back when I was all blog-happy, not sure what happened to it.--- Now I've added it back.

How fun are all the little gadget thingies? Pretty fun.

No more anonymous comments

2010-12-15T00:25:00.003-06:00

To cut down on spam comments, which are almost all that come in since I so rarely post, I have done away with anonymous comments. I feel very post-y tonight, though, might add a bit more. Please feel free to comment if you see anything you like or do not like.

Online dating

2010-12-15T00:14:00.005-06:00

... is weird. I don't want to go into too much detail but probably will. I had this date about a week and a half ago. He hasn't communicated much with me. I'm not sure if he's uninterested or just shy. Probably uninterested -- who'd be that shy if he was really into someone? But I emailed him, to see if he'd respond. Always gotta push it. It's better than not knowing, I think. And I don't believe I'll be truly hurt if he's just uninterested, right? We'll see.

I also have a few gentlemen I'm interested in hearing more from, others that seem more dubious.

Watching Hogfather

2010-12-15T00:06:00.005-06:00

Excellent so far. Gorgeous to look at, and so fun to see the characters and settings come to life. Almost as fun as the first Harry Potter movie, and I feel guilty saying 'almost'. I just know there are some bits I won't like, things that happen towards the end.

I don't really love the look of Death, I feel like his face/skull should look different. His voice and dialogue are fine. Albert and Ponder Stibbons and Death's granddaughter Susan are all fabulous so far. I do not like Teatime but I suppose I'm not meant to. Everything looks the way it should from my mental impressions of the book. I wonder if I listened to the audiobook, if it could change the way it all looks in the mind?

I don't see why her hair should go so bouffant to stop time, seems kind of silly. Binky is awesome. Well, he's just a horse. Getting tired, not sure whether to stay up and finish it. Might as well at this point.

The oh-god of hangovers is nice. Anthill inside! :) Random comments, sorry.

Wailey wailey waily!

2010-12-03T14:50:00.000-06:00

Feeling sorry for myself. Moving along!

Check it out

2010-11-29T00:01:00.001-06:00

http://voixdemichele.blogspot.com/2010/11/h-is-for-holidays-single-persons.html#links

Great post from Voix de Michele. About what it's like to be single during the holidays, what we don't want to hear.

thanksgiving

2010-11-24T17:28:00.001-06:00

Happy Thanksgiving! I am thankful to have enough to keep me busy but not quite out of trouble.

Watching the Lost Boys

2010-10-31T11:31:00.002-05:00

Not as interesting as I remembered, good as background noise though. Now that I've had a few days of working two jobs again, I am starting to remember what it felt like. Stretched out, or like watery soup. I am watery soup.

I figured out how much I'd need to make per hour at one job to equal what I'm currently getting at two. It's not a huge number.

Started reading the novel The Help, I'm almost halfway through. Hopefully today at work will be quiet enough that I can make some more headway. It's intriguing, problematic maybe on some levels. I think I'll look up some reviews or criticisms after I'm done reading it.

Bonne chance

2010-10-10T21:36:00.003-05:00

On my iGoogle homepage I have a little French phrase-of-the-day widget. Bonne chance, meaning "good luck", was today's.

Yesterday I reorganized my bedroom and the bathroom a little bit. The day before I was looking for a different hairstyle. Today I was investigating possible future careers as a pharmacy tech, paralegal, IT person, and maybe even healthcare (if only I could get past my issues with blood).

Tomorrow I might even take action to make some sort of significant change to my life. It could happen. The room reorg is pretty big, for me. Opened up a little floor space. Getting rid of old stuff I don't use or need, to make space for New! Exciting! Things! I've been winnowing away the junk for a few years now.

I would like to think I've made some progress, and that I've slowed down the influx of new stuff. It doesn't look like that to the naked eye.

Oh dude.

2010-10-01T21:28:00.003-05:00

I thought I had something to say, but what it was escapes me. Recently read books include Atonement and The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Society (Or Something Like That). Both had those authentic feeling WWII experiences that just make you not want to trust Germans. There, I said it. I don't like the filthy Krauts. Don't trust 'em.

Whatever I was originally going to say, it probably wasn't as awesome as this. I sometimes think about starting up this ol' blog on the regular again. I have a lot to say that, in all honesty, nobody around me gives a shit about (nor should they). My, that last sentence was a masterpiece. So a blog seems like the thing. So whatever.

Both of these books were very good. Atonement is the more literary, while Guernsey was at its heart, cutesy as shit. All of the 'good guys' have a talent for adorable, pithy notes, for one thing.

If you happen to read this, let me know what you think about the new design. I'm not sure how I feel about the transparency behind the blog posts. Whoa. That could mean a lot of things. But you know what I mean.

I like this one too

2010-08-22T20:55:00.003-05:00

Fancy Advice Blog

Wish they had more posts. I need me some fancy advice, and I love advice columns.

For something completely different, a beautiful craft blog from the UK. Life is a Fountain
Pretty pretty stuff. But I didn't want to steal any of her pics, so if you like crafty stuff click over.

Blog readingses

2010-08-22T19:10:00.002-05:00

Just found this blog. BridesWhoMeanBusiness If you are looking for wedding advice from someone who is not afraid to say fuck a lot, and probably hates you and everything you stand for, this is the blog for you! Advice like this caption under a groom's cake fashioned in the shape of a Coor's Light can: "Kill yourself."

I got to this blog from a link at the bottom of Postcards from Yo Momma, which I got to by way of a link from some fashion blog I found by hitting the Next Blog a bunch of times, starting off from one of those crazy couponer/frugal people blogs that I got from a search for Fargo/Moorhead coupons, which was for some reason that I don't recall. This is a great way to spend a lovely summer afternoon, n'est-ce pas?

What was I going to post about again?

2010-04-20T23:01:00.003-05:00

Wow. Something.

Good things: Adam Savage's speech

Yeahhhhhhhhhhhh

2010-04-14T23:24:00.002-05:00

I thought it was high time for my first blog post of 2010. Speaking of "high", the hallway of my apartment building smelled of marijuana and gravy. Cool neighbors I have.

In other news, for reasons yet to be determined, every month or so a new spam comment shows up on a really old post of this blog.

Not much else to say... I haven't blogged much because it seems like Facebook eats up all the energy I used to have to blog with. At the same time there isn't much I can say or want to say there. I have family, friends, schoolmates, and past/present coworkers all up in there. I'm afraid I look like enough of an ass with what I'm already posting there - links and reposts of other people's links.

I had an idea for a short story today, not sure if it's any good.

I'm not sure if I like my new hours at work. I thought I did, but they seem to be affecting me badly. I would love it if I only had to work something like 1 pm to 5 pm each day, and could somehow still afford to live.

Borrrring. This post is boring.

Zombie blogs!

2009-06-13T21:18:00.000-05:00

http://somehowstillalive.wordpress.com

http://helptheyarecoming.wordpress.com

bwahaha

2009-06-08T19:00:00.003-05:00

I'm not the biggest Lilly Allen fan, but I just came across this and thought it was quite nice.

I've been reviewing old articles I had saved in email

2009-02-07T19:29:00.004-06:00

And determined, so far, that while they are interesting, none are quite bloggable. It's interesting, though, to see what tickled me in 2005.

Life's Annoyances

Portfolio dating

The Sound of Silence (ear plug shopping)

Defining Bullshit (got me to buy the book)

Readings

2009-02-04T14:29:00.003-06:00

I'm reading The Areas of My Expertise by John Hodgman. I've just read the cover so far, and I'm exhuasted, edified and entertained. Thanks Whackly!

my fave eharmony match so far.

2009-02-01T22:28:00.008-06:00

A*******

29 years old | Bum | 4' 3"

1 Photo Remember, your match has been carefully selected from millions of candidates. With this level of compatibility, we believe you two will have a lot to talk about and may even find true love together. (redacted), the next step for you is to begin communicating with (redacted). Explore your shared areas of compatibility, and have fun discovering if there's chemistry. Take the first step to finding the love of your life—just start communicating now!	About A******* I try to find pleasure in the simple things in life. It's important for me to create romance in a relationship, and to try to improve myself everyday. I strive to avoid disagreement. I prefer to live life rather than analyze it.
	My friends describe me as:	Some of my favorite activities:
	Passionate Warm Affectionate	Movies Entertaining in my home Animals

Tivo and Netflix

2009-01-31T21:22:00.001-06:00

I am so very sad. My tivo is too old to stream Netflix! whatever shall I do? As tempted as I am to burn my tivo in a sacrificial fire, I shall not! For it still downloads Amazon video and does a bang up job as a digital VCR thingy!

happy day to me!

2009-01-26T20:19:00.000-06:00

Today I have eaten ice cream twice! I am fantastic!

While I'm at it, more stuff I am pissed off about

2009-01-25T22:31:00.002-06:00

-the books I ordered for this semester haven't come and I'm falling behind in my classes.
-I don't think the profs will find this to be a good excuse.
-I might have to choose on Thursday between driving the to cities with no power steering and missing "the girls" for a group birthday dinner.
-I set tomorrow as my last day of smoking, and I don't wanna do it. Even though I added the caveat for myself of "I can smoke when I drink". Is that just going to make me drink more? Silliness.
-the time management system thingy at work wasn't working at the end of the day today so that will create a gang of crap for me to do tomorrow.
-it's so fricking cold out. It's nothing new, just had to throw that in there.

power steering %$&#

2009-01-25T21:46:00.002-06:00

My power steering went out again. I can't remember exactly if it's the second or third time it's happened with this car. The problem is apparently, if I recall correctly from last time, a flaw in the design of the car. The hose is in a horrible place, or the belt is funky or something like that. I don't believe it's toooo expensive to fix, but it's never really a good time for car repairs, is it?

2009-01-22T20:07:00.000-06:00

I hearby declare myself Duchesse de la Reception

thought for the day

2008-11-29T23:36:00.001-06:00

Being rich is having money; being wealthy is having time. -Stephen Swid, executive (b. 1941)

Lizard people rule!

2008-11-22T23:27:00.002-06:00

from gawker comments

hulu.com

2008-11-19T22:10:00.000-06:00

This website is awesome! Who needs cable?

44 things

2008-11-15T20:23:00.002-06:00

44 Odd things about you!

Learn 44 things about your friends, and let them learn 44 things about you!

1. Do you like blue cheese? yes

2. Have you ever smoked? yes please

3. Do you own a gun? no

4. What flavor of Kool Aid is your favorite? grape

5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments? yes

6. What do you think of hot dogs? I think of hot dogs, no thank you

7. Favorite Christmas movie? Holiday, an old movie w/Cary Grant

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? diet coke, i know it's bad for me but I love it

9. Can you do push ups? maybe two or three

10. What is your favorite piece of jewelry? a necklace my dad gave me

11. Favorite Hobby? reading

12. Do you have A.D.D.? not really, just poor concentration

13. What's one trait you hate about yourself? can't decide. NO wait, that's it: I hate that I can never decide.

14. Middle name? Erin

15. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment?

A. I should really go to bed

B. I don't photograph well

C. It's a lovely weekend!

16. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink. diet coke, beer, water

17. Current worry? homework

18. Current hate right now? homework

19. Favorite place(s) to be? is asleep a place?

20. How did you bring in the New Year? I don't remember, it must have been really awesome or terribly dull.

21. Where would you like to go? Europe

22. Name three people who will complete this. ?, ? and ?

23. Do you own slippers? yup.

4. What color shirt are you wearing right now? green

25. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? no, too slippery

26. Can you whistle? yes

27. Favorite color(s)? plum and black

28. Would you be a pirate? perhaps, if the money was right

29. What songs do you sing in the shower? country music or show tunes

30. Favorite girl's name? Aurora

31. Favorite boy's name? Archibald

32. What's in your pocket right now? nothing

33. Last thing that made you laugh? a reference to a ninja costume, i believe

34. Best bed sheets as a child? black

35. Worst injury you've ever had? Cut open my chin falling off a bar stool (in my case alcohol was tangentially involved.)

36. Do you love where you live? I love it, but I'm not in love with it.

37. How many TVs do you have in your house? 2

38. Who is your loudest friend? Jenna

39. How many dogs do you have? 0

40. Does someone have a crush on you? maybe

41. What is your favorite book? something Jane Austen-y

42. What is your favorite candy? chocolate with almonds

43. What song do you want played at your funeral? Dancing Queen by Abba

44. What are your favorite sports teams? none

life is essentially good

2008-11-15T20:02:00.001-06:00

At least this week. I'm enjoying about half of my classes.

stupid day

2008-09-29T18:10:00.002-05:00

So far today, I forgot to resave a file with the correct extension, to bring a book and or handout, because I would need them, and what else? It seems like I've forgotten more than that. Oh right, the due date of that other assignment (the one whose file extension needs to change so it can be printed)

Perhaps I am getting old.

2008-09-22T17:54:00.001-05:00

Let's call it growing up. I'm in the computer lab of a college (well it's kind of a college) and this guy next to me was telling his friend about how fucked up and wasted he got this weekend and how the cops took him home and how surprised he was they didn't take him to detox. It didn't sound fun, it was really sad. Maybe I would have felt the same way ten years ago.

halloween

2008-09-22T17:53:00.004-05:00

Not sure what to be for halloween. JB 's having a bday costume party on 11/1. I have a cape, I have many bridesmaid dresses to choose from, I have some vague ideas about what to be. I should just choose the cheapest thing I can find.

a post at last

2008-09-20T11:39:00.005-05:00

........If your morals make you dreary, depend on it, they are wrong. -Robert LouisStevenson, novelist, essayist, and poet (1850-1894)

i was just bitching to whackly about having shorter hair...

2008-09-20T11:39:00.004-05:00

and how it makes me mad not to be able to put it in a ponytail. I thought this was important enough to share with the world.

oh noes!

2008-06-01T20:16:00.002-05:00

Whackly's prophecy has partially come to pass. I had too much to drink last night because I am stupid. No polaroids have surfaced. However, I think Doordolt's neighbor was trying to cop a feel off me (and all the other ladies in his vicinity other than his very patient & tolerant wife.)

new stuff at my job

2008-05-09T21:49:00.002-05:00

Ok, I'm rapidly forgetting why I volunteered for this, but this week I started training in my company's collections department. Oh, yeah, I was trying to impress my boss and I was bored in my previous extra department work, and I knew I'd eventually end up working there, so I might as well make it my choice. That is why I volunteered.

My boss has us rotate into different departments for a year or so, 4-8 hours a week, for various reasons that are essentially valid. I simultaneously agree and disagree with these reasons; my complaining would be merely for my own pleasure, and I'm not ready to look for another job, so here I go.

I've made a few calls but only had one actual customer contact so far. I am going into this knowing that I probably won't like it, but I know negotiating and not being such a wussy pushover are skills I can use. Hell yeah. Any tales of collections from anybody out there?

Hey, would you like some slightly awkward conversation with your pasta?

2008-05-09T21:23:00.001-05:00

I have this 12-stepping friend who made amends to me today. I was amended? I don't know the lingo. Anyway, it was all right, and sounded fairly genuine (pardon me if that sounds unconscionably cold or unreasonably cynical).

Defanging incivility or something like that

2008-04-19T21:14:00.002-05:00

I got this in an email from Utne. Interesting article. Now, this interests me in spite of the fact that I don't get comments, much less malicious ones, and I am not a gay. Here's the question they pose:
Is it a blogger's responsibility to keep comments and forums civil? Or is it his/her duty to let comments play out as they will, unmoderated?
Read More >>

My thought is you can moderate your blog if you want. If you do, you run the risk of overediting contrary opinions or viewpoints. If you don't, however, you are a tiny bit responisble for the bile that ends up on your site. Any thoughts?

Rock Band is a fun game, huh?

2008-04-19T20:13:00.002-05:00

I like it even better than Guitar Hero. I mean, I've only played Guitar Hero twice and Rock Band once, but I feel pretty confident about this. However, when I was the singer, I was surpised to remember that I really can't sing. Oh well!

I am going back to school. Now it's on the internet, and I can't unsay it! I applied for financial aid and everything. I swear, this admissions counselor lady I talked to should like, give motivational seminars. I think I signed up for a triple major or something, it's kind of a blur.

Quotes we've heard before

2008-04-05T18:49:00.001-05:00

"Fall seven times, get up eight." - Japanese Proverb

"Patience and perseverance have a magical effect before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish." - John Quincy Adams

"The gem cannot be polished without friction, nor man perfected without trials." - Chinese Proverb

"Never give in. Never. Never. Never. Never." - Winston Churchill

"Great works are performed not by strength but by perseverance." - Samuel Johnson

hardy har har!

2008-04-01T21:55:00.002-05:00

I pulled a succesful prank today. I am quite proud. I made it look like 1/2 our department called in sick, when about 1/3 of it was already going to be gone. I even got my boss in on it in advance, so when her assistant left her a semi-panicked message, she called back laughing her ass off, instead of anxious and pissed off. She was on her way to a funeral so she could use the laugh, you know? Or it was really inappropriate to pull her away from her family for something so trivial. Let's say not the second one, hopefully.

The 2 ladies who get there first in the morning were my targets. It was awesome. They actually bought it, had no thought that it was sort of coincidental that I had food poisoning, W had a broken leg, and the new girl had the flu -- all on April 1st. I was worried they'd be genuinely mad once they found out I had gotten them, and in fact I think JB was about 30 seconds away from crying when I got there. So I had prepared a small gift for each of them, to bribe them back to liking me.

I am way too proud of myself and will probably get my comeuppance soon enough.

Signature

2008-03-30T23:31:00.001-05:00

The following comes from my brother's email signature (the middle bro). He's pretty cool.

There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences. --P.J. O'Rourke (1993)
There is no freedom without the freedom to say no.
"Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it." -- Mark Twain

How about that reality television

2008-03-25T20:56:00.001-05:00

I have always dislike reality tv. At least 99% of it, anyway. But this year I've gotten into the Biggest Loser, and was so thrilled tonight that the girls made it above the yellow line! Ok, so that probably makes no sense if you don't watch the show. But if you know, then you know.

Oh, and Dan was finally punished for his hubris. Good times!

IT Dept Hates Me

2008-03-20T20:40:00.002-05:00

Nah, maybe not so much hates me. Thinks I'm a technical hypochondriac.
This is not a big deal...
Here I am, with the best intentions in the world, transferring a call on line one to somebody's voicemail. Then line two rings, and I can't hear the call I'm trying to transfer. So I can't tell when voicemail picks up and because I can't risk to put putting somebody to the wrong line, I put the 1st call on hold so I can get rid of line two and transfer the poor person on line one.

Whatever, I can live with it. But somebody told me to send a work order to IT, and 3 weeks later they come to me to check on it. And look at me like I'm a new species of crazy while I try to describe it, sputter, and give up. Whatever!

I have a mental block when it comes to a certain level of technology. Like, anything more complicated than the basic level. I discovered how to sort shit in excel and you'd think I'd found gold. Then I forgot how to do it. The mind rebels!

hey yo

2008-03-15T20:55:00.002-05:00

I feel like things are looking up for me a little bit, but of course that means something shitty is about to happen, right?

Oh yeah.

2008-02-09T22:21:00.000-06:00

One last thing -- when did my parents turn into the old couple on Everybody Loves Raymond? I guess my mom isn't much of a meddler and the dad on the tv show isn't as openly racist as my father, but in many points the similarity is striking.

Final thoughts

2008-02-09T21:15:00.000-06:00

So I've been working on a website at work, and it's kind of cool and fun except that it's just become part of the same shitstorm of frustration and willful bunglage that is work. I think I just invented the word "bunglage". It means that everything tends to go to shit as much as it possibly can - when things go to shit when you hoped they wouldn't but knew they probably would, that, sir, is bunglage. From the latin, bunglar: to bungle, that which sucks or is lousy. But I am no lexicographer, my dears! Bungle, bumble, bugle. I have typed it and thought it too many times and it has lost all meanings. Oh shit, I googled it and it's not really my invention. Okey dokey, I can live with that. I found this blog when I did my search. Coolness.

It seems I can't make a move on the website without some infelicitous (awesome word that I didn't invent) happening. I finally managed to tab the lines of code in line with the IT departments requirements, but a long line of text has fecked up the column widths. Everything is spaced all funny on this little insignificant page, and I just hope I remember how IT guy told me I should fix it when I go back to work on Monday. I think so. I'm just going to abbreviate the long line of text.

Anyway, shit happens, right? I'm clearly running out of steam here, and no matter the paucity of my social engagements, I should be able to find something better to do with my Saturday evening. Ta ta for now!

Further ramblings

2008-02-09T20:40:00.000-06:00

I have gotten even sicker of the presidential race. At least I'm learning to be ashamed of this, because I should really want to participate. Here's what I feel, and I'd like to hear your opinions as well: I think Hillary, Barack or John McCain would probably all do a decent enough job. My most favoritest would be Prez Hill, Veep Barack. Or maybe vice versa. I'm sure many of you disagree, but I could give a crap. lol. I respect your opinions and whatnot, but barring some really good persuasion, or unless Bill C and Barry go strip club hopping together, that's gonna be my ticket.

One of my favorite things on NPR is Science Friday, on All Things Considered maybe, hosted by Ira something. This week they talked a bit about the disheartening news about using food crops for bio diesel. Which I mean, hello? Did anyone else hear that and think, god, why is that news to me? What I'm saying is, why didn't I/everybody else already think of this? If we use corn to make fuel, then we will have less corn for food. Other countries will need to grow more food, they will need more land to grow that food... hey, look at that rainforest! But we should be using less corn for food anyway. And eating less meat (it takes a lot of pounds of grain to feed a cow, to get one pound of beef. why not just eat the grains? I guess if you have celiac disease, that would be a good reason to go for the steak). Just a bit less, say one day a week, have like tofu or garbanzo beans instead. It's an idea, if you are giving up steak for Lent anyway why not give it a try?

Anyway, after covering the bad news they talked about new developments in sustainable biofuels, like perhaps using algae or some nonsense to make ethanol or even oil. That was pretty cool. I like hearing about science things, even though it's not really my thing.

You know, perhaps a blog is the wrong place for this next topic but I'd like to get away from the navel gazing, introspective, self-absorbed thing. It's very dull. LOL. I say this after how many tens of thousands of words, how many hundreds of uses of "I" or "me" on this page? Perhaps it's more honest to talk about oneself rather than pretend that what one writes can be truly independant of oneself? Oh, but exceptions present themselves immediately -- anybody else worried about this type of thing? No? It's boring? Then forget it.

I haven't been good about keeping up with people, except that I talk to Whackly about once a week. I think I'm doing ok with others then I sort of look up that it's been say, 2 weeks, or 4 months since I've spoken to them. I'm sure when I figure out the internet access shit that will get better, but in the meantime, if I've alienated anyone please don't take it personal.

So I tried blogging from my cell phone but no dice. For the last 3-4 weeks I haven't even been able to check my email from the damn thing.

Hi all. Happy February. I'm going to ramble on for a bit

2008-02-09T19:36:00.000-06:00

I'm all moved in and comfortable in the new place. I knew it wouldn't be hard to just move downstairs, but it was even less stressful than I thought it would be. I think I blogged a long time ago, about how I need to get rid of a lot of stuff. I found in moving that I really have cleaned out quite a bit of junk, but there's still more that needs to be done. I need time to get used to the idea of parting with stuff. Stuff goes back and forth between the "keep" and "donate" piles a few times before meeting a final fate.

Some of my former coworkers probably remember recieving a blue fleece vest with our company logo on it. Do any of you still have it? I did until yesterday, and I only gave it up to give it to my mom. I still have lots of clothes to get rid of, things that are probably fine but I just don't wear. Then there are the books, a small but useless assortment of knicknacks and decorative items, and papers. Lots of papers. Old bills and insurance crap, printouts of whatnot. While I am generally a miserably untidy person, the stuff is pretty well stowed away at the current time.

I quit smoking, again. 32nd time is the charm! Nah, really like the fourth or fifth time. Sadly, I have been giving myself a loophole: that maybe after 6 months or so, if somebody else is smoking and they offer me one, I'll indulge. But I hear that isn't the best way to handle such an attaching, inveigling habit as this. So don't offer me one, in the unlikely event that I'm around you. As far as habits go, it's not the worst, but it's bad enough and not worth the trouble.

So I was feeling crafty and changed the template for the ol' blog

2007-12-22T22:03:00.000-06:00

It's been like, a while, so I figured why not? Also, I'll be working on a website at work, so I should try to gain some glancing acquaintance with HTML.

test, test, 1, 2.

2007-12-22T19:54:00.001-06:00

I hope this shit works. I'm trying out mobile blogging, so I can post from my cell phone, whilst I am stuck in the insane asylum or nunnery some of you might think I've been in.

Festive festivities

2007-12-22T19:53:00.000-06:00

I went to my company's holiday party last week. It was ok; the best part was having a couple of free drinks and leaving early. I volunteered to sit at the entrance table, giving out nametags and drink tickets- never again, I think. Borrrring. Well;, perhaps I am exagerating. Fewer r's in boring, maybe just the one will do.

fall tv

2007-10-06T19:44:00.000-05:00

Are the new shows everything you've dreamed of? Bionic Woman? Meh. Chuck. Slightly less meh.

My tv shuts off by itself sometimes. Like it's commenting on my choice of program.

Hi there!

2007-09-08T21:00:00.000-05:00

So it's been about 2 months since my last post. In this interval very little has happened. This weekend it is my hometown's 125th anniversary or birthday or whatever towns have. I remember the centennial, when I was four. I remember my mom made me a little pioneer outfit, and her friend Eileen made me a little pioneer bonnet. Eileen was also an Avon lady and made me sit in a corner for not eating my vegetables, when I was going to her house for daycare after kindergarten. But that is all in the past.

I have been a bit reclusive and cut off lately, it's ok. I kinda like it. It's probably good for the ol noggin, right?

Oh nanners

2007-07-26T20:52:00.000-05:00

I went to a pic-a-nic last night, you know. Sassafras and marjoram, but was it hot or what? Steamy. And I went into the forest that was near the picnic. And I was lost in the woods! But I wandered on for a while and I found myself again.

Some people at the picnic prepared a Southern delicacy called low country boil. I was nervous, but it wasn't like I expected. Sure, it was crabs, shrimp, sausage, potatoes, corn and onions boiled together in big, nasty vats. But they took the stuff out of the vats and stacked it neatly in serving trays and the corn and potatoes didn't taste all shrimpy and weird. Also there was an open bar, although they only served until 6:30. Actually, that was a good thing.

Cat story

2007-07-22T11:49:00.000-05:00

This is a picture of my bro's cat; the cat's name is Boy. Also, the cat is a boy, or was one before, you know, the surgery and all that unpleasantness. The caption was provided by another brother. Boy was named by my nephew when he was like, 4 or 5. That cat is eight years old or so but he looks like he's a million, doesn't he? They used to have another cat called Socksie. I believe they were brothers. Also, guess what? Socksie had white feet! Then a few years ago Socksie died, under mysterious circumstances. I believe Boy killed him.

Quick like a bunny

2007-07-21T15:08:00.000-05:00

That's how fast I read. If bunnies could read, that is, and who's to say they can't? It took me under 8 hours to read Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, and if you think that's a lame thing to brag about, I won't disagree with you! It is super duper lame, yet I persist in my childish pride. In fact if you trim out the inevitable breaks, it was probably more like 7 hours. Yeah. Lame.

How about I tell you the tale of my Quest for the Book? At six am or so I went to Wal-Mart and bought the book. Remember how I said I was going to go the bookstore thing last night? Really, I did, but I just stood and talked to my friends there for a few minutes and left. You may not know this about me, and I'm only really figuring it out myself recently, but I hate standing in lines. Lines bother me, not waiting. I was happy to go home and wait until morning for my copy and not stand around 3 hours waiting for it with a bunch of jerks. Very early this morning I woke up and went for the book. Even though I'm not a big fan of Wal-Mart, I knew it was a place that was open and had books. Sometimes that's what matters!

I was very pleased with this book. I've had a poor track record at guessing what will happen in the new books or figuring out clues once I'm reading the book. Seriously, someone had to point out things like Knockturn Alley and Diagon Alley - the simplest puns. (nocturnally and diagonally in case there's anyone else out there with the same brain block) Snape and Neville, among others, had the fates I thought they would. I got a piece of the plot figured out early on, although not entirely. Maybe Rowling put in a few easy clues for those of us who are a bit obtuse. :)

I think I was a little leery of writing a post like this, because I don't want people to make fun of me for being a Harry Potter fan. But I don't care, or more accurately, I don't want to care about that. Yeah, I'm sure some of the adults out there in costumes or whatnot were kind of creepy or weird, but there were also many who, well, weren't creepy or weird and just had fun. In fact my friend knitted a Gryffindor scarf for her boyfriend and he wore it to Barnes and Noble very proudly. Ok, they might be weird but I view that as a wonderful quality, and they weren't at all creepy. Haters gotta hate, but I encourage you to read some of the cool articles and reviews out there by bright and fascinating people, good stuff. I bet some of the kids whose parents brought them out for the "Midnight Magic" stuff will remember it for the rest of their lives.

This book, for all the sad parts, left me with a good feeling. It seems the author genuinely cares about the creatures of her imagination and the fans who've come along for the ride. It's hard to put into words, and it's not anything huge, just that it seems like the person who wrote this book must be quite nice. From what I've read in the past, she actually has a lot more material and backstories for the characters than she put into the books. I don't think she'll put out anymore about the Harry Potter-verse but it would be amazing if she did.

I do feel as though I've been babbling on for long enough. I have, haven't I? So I'll stop here.

If you would like a spoiler, the biggest spoiler, the one that's probably out everywhere now, but what the hell -- there's an acrostic in the second paragraph of this post. Don't look for it if you don't want to know.

Also, I'd love to hear what you thought of the books -- even if it's just "It was good" or "It sucked". Did anybody go out for the book at midnight? Do you have a favorite part or line (just be careful with spoilers).

Here are two of my favorite lines: "I was a fool!" and "NOT MY DAUGHTER, YOU BITCH!" Note: the two lines are not from the same conversation, if you were thinking What The Hell. There was also a great little callback to the first book, I believe it was, an exchange between Ron and Hermione...but oh look! I'm babbling again. See ya.

I'm excited about the last Harry Potter book

2007-07-20T19:28:00.000-05:00

And I don't care who knows it. :) A couple people are actually going to a party at a bookstore so I'm going to go join them, I think. I'm terrified of hearing spoilers, so I'm staying off the interwebs until I'm done reading the book. I think. Hey, if anyone feels like discussing the book w/me, comment below or email me at gmail.

I'm watching Mad Max

2007-07-19T20:18:00.000-05:00

I've never seen it before, it's very good. I enjoy the whole genre of the post-apocalyptic near future - can someone give me a better phrase for that?

I'm trying to think what else is important to say.

2007-07-07T23:38:00.000-05:00

There isn't much to say, I guess. My oldest brother's girlfriend's mother died a couple of weeks ago. Today the girlfriend and my brother came over for lunch and she and my mom talking about funerals. My mom wants to be cremated. She also said my dad can get a free plot at the veteran's cemetary in Mandan (or maybe Minot?) which is way the hell far away. I was not thrilled to hear about this, but it's good to know their wishes. I think we will try to get the money together to have their eternal resting places in our time zone. I mean, in the unlikely event that my mommy and daddy die which I am going to make them promise to never, ever do. I would like a wooden casket and then I'd like to be buried out in the woods and left to rot. That sounds restful. I mean, once I'm dead. Not, like, today or anything.

Here's another video I like

2007-07-07T23:31:00.000-05:00

I used to watch VH1 a lot to find new music, isn't it weird? Especially after Drive 105 died and went to hell, it's hard to find music that I'll like a lot and listen to endlessly then I will get so sick of it that I will never want to hear it again. The music I end up hearing is missing the "I like it a lot" part and a surfeit of the "sick of it and never want to hear it again" thing. So this video is catchy as hell and very cheerful, no? Here's another link. The theme that connects the last video I posted and this one are interesting lyrics and lots of pretty colors.

Ok here, just so's you know

2007-07-07T23:19:00.000-05:00

My 'puter is being naughty (fried motherboard and such) so I am less online than previously. I will be checking email less frequently for a bit. I have this romantic idea that I can get along perfectly well without a high speed internet connection - so I'm switching to a dialup connection once I get the new computer home and hooked up.

I think it will be fine. I'm going to put up a few posts today so people who come here can look at stuff. Like this music video from Regina Spektor, which is cool and I like it. I am putting a different link in the previous sentence that is different from the embedded video below because I like to give ya a choice.

Making wishes

2007-07-07T23:16:00.000-05:00

Have you ever heard that thing, that at 11:11 you can make a wish and it will come true? I'm not sure if it matters if it's AM or PM, or if this sort of magic nonsense works best when used with military time. Anyway, it's never worked for me.

Good news and possibly better news

2007-06-18T20:53:00.000-05:00

So, I found that damn Harry Potter book. Thank god. See, I'm not the neatest person, and I keep books every-damn-where, so I had to look not only on bookshelves, but near the bookshelves, under the couch, bed, desk, and coffee table; plus in the kitchen and the trunk of my car. The book was amidst a stack of magazines in my bedroom. So, now the funny fun fun of reading this incredibly dark children's book is all mine.

The possibly better news: I've found a semi-reasonable and timely way of getting to a friend's wedding in Colorado. I've been investigating Greyhound, but it's not that attractive to spend 28 hours (each way) in a stinky bus, but it'd be much better to spend 12+ hours with the bride's family, carpooling from Fargo, right? I called my mom to run this plan by her. She didn't like it much, which is not surprising. My car isn't in tip top condition, even if we disregard the oil leak. Will it make it there? I say it'd be much safer to be with the Hav fam (even if they're a bit crazy, because what family isn't?) than on my own trying to sleep on the bus with a bunch of weirdos I've never even met before. My mom is very cautious, not big on expenditures of money or adventure of most types. When we talked, she admitted this cautiousness and I admitted that she is very often right, much more often than I used to be able to admit. But I'm not going to miss this wedding. So I'll decide my method in the next few days.

booksie books

2007-06-11T19:34:00.000-05:00

Like my loafers? Former gophers - it was either that or skin my chauffeur.
--Monty Burns, The Simpsons

Good episode.

Did I happen to lend anyone the 5th Harry Potter book? I'm not sure where mine is and it would be wonderful if someone happened to have it. If not, does anyone localish have a copy I can borrow. I simply must reread it before the next film comes out.

Birds!

2007-06-09T19:43:00.000-05:00

So, last year these birds built a nest near my apartment's balcony. You know how most balconies stick out from the side of the building? The ones in my complex do not, they are flush with the side of the building. So the birds were way cute, especially when the little birds were learning to fly. However, birds are sort of filthy and there was quite a lot more bird shit than I like to have around. Also, when I'd sit on the balcony the birds would get pissed off and swoop at me, chattering madly.

I've probably blogged about this before.

Anyway, this year I evicted the damn things. I had to knock it down whenever they started to build it up. They were pissed off and swooped around a lot, but they gave up after a single day. God, I feel bad. I'm the mean ol' human who made them move from the nesting spot they bonded with. I was listening to a show on MPR about how this type of birds (barn swallows or something, it was a while ago) about how nasty these birds are and how they'll kill other birds to steal their nests... so I've sentenced some other random birds to a gruesome death. Fuck.

I've got such skillz

2007-06-07T21:44:00.000-05:00

Today I got out of bed at 8:02 and made it to work by 8:28. I showered, dressed in a professional-enough manner, and wore matching shoes. On my feet! And I was only three minutes late. So if I get up at 7:59 tomorrow, I should be right on time.

So. More apartment thoughts. If I renew my lease for a year, I can get some kind of good bonuses, like a free garage for 6 months and some other shit. Six month lease is lame bonuses, like a free phone book or some shit. I don't want to move to Ohio or Colorado even though I know people in these states. Fargo is out. St. Cloud or a different part of Waite Park are possibilities - certainly, certainly they are. Or a smallerish apartment in this complex. All tempting.

Also other books

2007-06-07T21:25:00.000-05:00

I also recently read Freakonomics. I've been wanting to read it for ever so long, but I didn't want to buy it because we have it in the reference library at work, so for the past year, it seems like, I've been on a waiting list to check it out. So I finally read it and it was very good.

The time has come to renew my lease if I'm going to be renewing it. I don't know. It would be easier to stay here. I'm thinking about it. Like where would I go if I didn't stay?

Can I bend your ear a tick?

2007-06-06T19:28:00.000-05:00

Blehhhhhhhhhh! Glurg! Ar. Meh.
For some reason I set up a Season Pass for Sex and the City on TiVo. I think it was because RMGS likes it and I thought I would like to gain some perspective now that the show is dead and gone and I can watch the somewhat expurgated versions on basic cable.

Also, this weekend I finished reading Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell. I recommend it. Sadly I stayed up all night to finish it. It's way good and I so recommend it. But it left me in a weird, floaty mood and when I saw an awesome rainbow I called RMGS and told her all about it. Yeah, that's kind of weird, right? But when you have an awesome rainbow to share, she is the person to call, I promise you. If she was judging my weirdness she betrayed no hint and even had fab thoughts to share on all things rainbow.

Wowsa

2007-06-03T01:05:00.000-05:00

Hubba hubbba. Ok, in the time since I've not been reading blogs, it appears that some have gone out of existence. If I confirm this in the cold, sober light of day, I will update the links. If there's anyone who would like to be added or removed from the links list of this inestimably popular blog, do please send an email or post in the comments.

Does anyone else find that they use bigger words drunk than sober? I think I might be the most annoying person on the face of the planet. Inestimably? What is so inestimable about this? I have a page counter or whatever the fuck that is called. You know, I'm not quite drunk but still.

In case you haven't been keeping up with all the tv shows....

2007-05-30T18:50:00.000-05:00

The Onion provides this handy guide:

Season Finale Wrap-Up

The 2006–2007 TV season is over. In the event you couldn't watch them, here are some highlights from the season finales of your favorite shows.

Studio 60 On The Sunset Strip: Saddled with poor, trite, unrealistic writing, Danny and Matt face the cancellation of their show.

The Office: The Dunder-Mifflin employees show glimmers of expectation as they head off to act in some of the worst movies of the summer.

House: Dr. House goes missing, prompting the rest of the hospital staff to scream his name for the entire show.

Ugly Betty: Surprise! America Ferrera is actually beautiful. As if a network would ever put a truly ugly—or even vaguely plain—person on television.

My Name Is Earl: The series comes to an abrupt end when Earl accidentally leaves his list in his jeans pocket and runs it through the wash.

Lost: Sawyer stuns the castaways by confessing that, many years ago, he killed a woman named Laura Palmer.

The King of Queens: The series ends on a down-note when the cast comes out for a final bow and no one claps.

creepy little girl, go away!

2007-05-29T18:36:00.000-05:00

Most days I'm glad that I sit sort of off in my own area, but when weird shit happens I got no one to tell about it. This was one of those days.

Today at work work a kid called in a few times, with, like, really lame-yet-unsettling prank calls. It could have been funny to mess with her, but I was on a recorded line. I remember making funny phone calls as a kid. But there are two things you gotta remember: 1) decide what you're going to say before you call, and 2) know when to quit (this is way after you've annoyed the person you're calling, in this case me, but before I start threatening you, unless you have a high tolerance for risk. I didn't really threaten her. I just commented that her mommy might wonder what she's up to). Oh yeah, and don't call someplace where they can get your number really easily. Also, I know she was a little girl - or at least she sounded about eight years old - but you can't get offended if the target calls you on your bullshit. But perhaps some readers have their own prank laws - I would be surprised if you shiftless delinquents didn't have a few tricks up your sleeves.

I don't know if someone was coaching her but I hope not, because this much lameness shouldn't be a team effort. She asked if she could talk to Marleen, then Marvin. I asked her to spell the name of the person she was looking for, and she fell silent. I said "Hello, bored little girl, can you hear me?" Still nothing. I hung up. She called back, sputtering with indignation, "You hunged up on me!". I asked again who she wanted to talk to, or if her mom would come to the phone, which is a lousy reason to get pissed off if you ask me Ooh, she was mad. "Ma'am, you are talking to me like I am not a real person. I don't - you- you - Your boyfriend just broke up with you!" she said and hung up. She called in about five times total. Seriously, her voice sounded super young but she spoke with a mixture of childish confusion and weirdly adult intensity. It didn't come in on the main line so maybe they were dialing randomly or maybe they have a parent who works there. That would be awesome.

I love all the boozing holidays

2007-05-26T12:53:00.000-05:00

That isn't really true. Memorial Day isn't really in memorial of sunburn and alcohol abuse, right? When I was a kid I used to go to Memorial Day services or programs with my parents, bring wreaths out to the cemetaries for grandpas and uncles. Do you guys do anything like that? I think my folks will, my bro who's a vet will probably do something too. I'll lounge about as I usually do.

So there

2007-05-22T20:54:00.000-05:00

I had this post written up and my computer crashed and I said, fuck it. I'm not going to try to remember what I wrote, it wasn't that great. Something about Isaac Newton and fun.

But so, anyway. How's it going? I've not been keeping up with blogs and whatnot.

I like my job but I have a lot of "fuck it" moments there too. And that is not the attitude of a go-getter!

Shit, Blogger now automatically saves drafts. I'll be darned. I'm a-gonna post that bitch up.

Bleah!

2007-05-22T20:31:00.000-05:00

I've been kind of off in my own little world more than usual lately. So I apologize if I've been distant or neglectful of anyone, especially of anyone's blogs! I don't know what I've been doing with my time but I haven't been doing whatever it is online. I haven't even been keeping up with Mr. TiVo. I have eight episodes of The Riches, which is quite a good show. Right now, I'm watching this show called "Great Scientists" which is pretty interesting. This episode is about Isaac Newton. It's Science Lite, which is perfect for me.

The show has kind of a creepy visual vibe, though. And weirdness. Like when they have a dramatization of Newton working in his study, they make it look like an old, scratchy film, but sepia toned; and when Newton talks it sounds like an old, scratchy recording. This seems like a bad idea to me, especially for children. Kids are dumb, and they will think this is actually a film reel. Maybe.

So this weekend there's lots of big plans afoot, that will be fun. I think I need more fun. I'm prescribing myself a big dose of vitamin fun. This is not necessarily to be taken with vitamin beer.

Good morning

2007-05-17T02:05:00.000-05:00

I went to bed early so of course I woke up feeling all chipper at 1:30. So now I'm watching the Daily Show. That should knock me out, right?

happy day

2007-05-08T19:07:00.000-05:00

At work today I saw Heather in the hallway and she said, "Remember where we were a year ago today? I think about this time we were all drinking our lunch at the bar."

So I guess it's been a year since my job ended, that's cool. It's been quite a year, but not really.

In other news, what happened to Drive 105? This is pissing me off. It's like easy listening or some shit.

You mean Oprah lied to me?

2007-05-07T21:57:00.000-05:00

Here's a review of The Secret. This is a good blog. I'm still all about the positive thinking, but you don't gotta be a fool about it.

Windy out, isn't it?

2007-05-06T12:35:00.000-05:00

It seems like if it's going to bother being this windy out, it should rain or something. My chin hurts, but that's a story for never, ever. It's nap time. Hope everybody's having a splendid weekend!

Stephen Colbert made a joke about lutefisk last night.

2007-05-02T19:36:00.000-05:00

This amazes me. I was tickled pink, in fact. I have never eaten lutefisk, but maybe I would try it. I don't know. Lutefisk, for the non-Norske among us, is fish that has been cured in lye. Then it sits in a barrel for a while, then they rinse it very well, then it is cooked and served with butter.

There are two stories I have heard about the origin of this delicacy. The first one is boring. It was a good way to keep the fish edible on board ships during long sea voyages in the old days. The second story, I may have invented but it's more fun: The Vikings were raiding some village, and the villagers decided to poison their fish with lye. It didn't kill the tough, crazy Vikings, and they liked the flavor and made it their national delicacy. Please tell me if you've heard this anywhere else, it would please me if I didn't invent it.

hr nightmares, anyone?

2007-04-30T19:19:00.000-05:00

Ok, I have two HR nightmares to share, one lame and one serious. I will get the lame one out of the way first.

I had to write this very typical administrative-drone email to someone today. Basically I had to tell him he couldn't do something he wanted to do because it's says in the policy not to do that, so there. It felt icky yet it truly had to be done. I know he's going to be pissed at me and might very well take it out on me or badmouth me to other staffers, even though he knows the policy bullshit is not something I can help him with. And I know that I have to take responsibility for handing out bad news from time to time. And I know that I'd much rather have this guy mad at me than deal with my boss being mad at me.

Let me tell ya, this was a great email. It went something like, "In regards to your request, unfortunately, at this time, under conditions on Earth as we know them, and per the policies and procedures handed down to us by the Wrathful Hand of Thor, we cannot do the thing you wanted to do. Please contact company President So&So to obtain special clearance in writing to override this policy and/or procedure, if you so wish. Good day to you, sir."

Here's the other thing that happened: Some guy called a couple of times looking for an employee, and the person he was looking for wasn't there, so I just said, they're not picking up, can I give them a message (I'm using singular "they" because I don't want to give out too much info, like I didn't want to give the guy too much either, more policy stuff!)

So he says ok, but then he calls back about half an hour later and asks for them again, and I'm thinking, hello stalker! but then he says, "None of his/her friends have heard from him/her in four days, we're really worried," so I take his number and call the person's manager & the HR director and well, a bunch of other people. It turns out the person left work early with some sort of personal or family emergency late last week and we haven't heard from them since. I don't know this person except to say hi in the hallway, but being the person I am & based on this guy's voice, I started worrying bunches. Wouldn't you?

And at the end of the day, this person's department director told me they still haven't gotten in touch with them. I'm sure it was nothing though, right? I hope this person is back tomorrow. I hope they call their friends and family and tell them they're all right. It's probably nothing. I hope I feel foolish tomorrow when it turns out I was worried over nothing. You guys can laugh at me, it's ok, just wait til tomorrow.

6 hours later

2007-04-27T23:07:00.000-05:00

So after I got home this afternoon, I spent the rest of the day, up to about an hour ago, reading and reading. I haven't had such a reading binge in quite a while - as I was telling someone, since the last Harry Potter book came out (yes, I know how cool that makes me) - and I forgot how zoned out and slightly nauseous it can make a person feel.

Happy Administrative Professionals Day, ya'll

2007-04-25T21:49:00.000-05:00

I discovered that today was Secretary's -- ahem, Administrative Professional's Day when a vendor brought in daisies. The fine folks at Manpower really know how to suck up! Nah, I'm kidding. It was nice. We're going to rotate the flowers to everybody's desk so we can all bask in the beauty. Plus it's a plant, not just cut flowers, so we should be able to keep it alive for a while.

I've been reading HR Nightmares on NBC's The Office website. Good stuff, fun times. I'm trying to think of something to post there, anybody got any ideas?

All it takes is positive thinking and a good mental outlook

2007-04-22T21:27:00.000-05:00

Yeah, that is the shit! Oh, yes, I know, positive thinking and self-help books are a bunch of trite crap for the weak minded to buy into or something, but that is so the demagraphic to which I belong. Yes! If you think happy thoughts you will totally get rich, so join me, because I'm only half kidding with this.

goddamn

2007-04-19T21:19:00.000-05:00

Do you ever feel like a purple unicorn next to a thought bubble that reads "Why?"?? Me too!

I can't believe I couldn't find a picture online of that unicorn painting from The Simpsons. If anybody sees it anywhere, let me know. This painting loses to Marge's painting at the big art show or something.

Why do I feel like the questioning unicorn? I don't know, I guess it's not so much the unicorn as the questioning part. Unicorns are awesome.

A bargain

2007-04-16T12:22:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I went dress shopping with the gals, the college-era friends, doncha know. Then we went to see the new baby of T&J VB. Cute kid! His name is Nathan Michael and he has a shock of beautiful golden hair. It was great to hold him and we all marvelled and cooed over his precious little fingers and toes.......... then last night I had a dream about buying birth control pills in bulk! I remember they came to $6.48 a bottle, so I bought four or five bottles (yeah, in the dream they came in bottles with old-fashioned typed labels rather than the little discs/cases such pills actually come in). It was like, at these prices, I can't afford not to not ovulate! Definitely, I did not have "I wanna baby" fever, which I kinda thought I might when I was actually holding him. Has anyone else ever had a reaction like this? Maybe it was hearing the details of the labor. Uffda.

Seen any good movies lately?

2007-04-15T21:13:00.000-05:00

How about that weather?

How's the job going?

The family doing ok?

Is this it?

2007-04-14T09:00:00.000-05:00

Spring? Is it here yet? Better be.

A list of stuff I'm sick of hearing about

2007-04-11T18:53:00.000-05:00

And I think everyone will agree.

-global warming: I get it. We're all doomed.
-the presidential election: If they could hold off on this shit for a year, that would be great. I'm scared that I'll be so burned out on all this garbage that on Election Day I'll get drunk and vote for Mitt Romney, because Mitt is an adorable name.
-Paris Hilton/Britney Spears/Nichole Richie/ all those other girls: Let me know if Paris Hilton goes to rehab instead of all her friends. Or if she goes to jail and gets shivved.
-How much money a movie made: I don't care.
-Please add your own suggestions: if you want to.

Great times

2007-04-10T23:59:00.000-05:00

So, I emailed a co-worker a suggestion on how to improve a form, if it wouldn't be too much work. She replied "That's totally doable!"

Omigod, she made my day. I sprinted over to her desk and shrieked "So's your mom! HAHAHAHA!"

There are so few opportunities for great comedy at work these days. Mostly I just listen to NPR and compare the weather forcasts of the UPS, DHL and FedEx delivery people. So far DHL is most reliable. UPS is usually cautiously optimistic, and I think FedEx is a witch.

Emerging from the cocoon

2007-04-06T16:13:00.000-05:00

Nah, that's not the metaphor I'm looking for. I definitely haven't turned into a butterfly. Anyway, I'm planning on blogging more in the future so I hope to see ya'll around. Yes, my plan to is get back into blogging more regularly. Except here's the problem: I'm still feeling a little blah and dumb. There's nothing really interesting to me. So I will look for something interesting and when I find it I shall post it here. But in the meantime, look for a lot of dream interpretation and two-sentence recaps of my day. Sorry.

here's an inscrutable dream i had

2007-03-31T10:53:00.000-05:00

I was going to leave this place but I would be back the next day so I wanted to save my spot or something. So there was this bank of locker/safe type things but they worked like parking meters and I didn't have enough change to keep it locked for a whole day, but I just kept putting in dime after dime. What a dumbass dream.

I was hoping it would be one of those dreams where if you discuss it, the meaning becomes clear, but not this time. Anyway. If anyone can think of what that means, lemme know.